Year-end self-care guide: Do something for others

The wellness industry often portrays self-care as a solitary pursuit: spa days, bubble baths, $40 candles. Moments like these are precious, but what if connection and caring for others were just as nourishing? self-care? During this season of self-care, let us remember that caring for others is a powerful way to fill our own cup.

The myth of “solo” self-care

My friend Jennifer recently admitted that she’s “not up to it” with traditional self-care. She doesn’t run away alone; resilience In connecting with others, whether it’s by sending a thoughtful text, surprising her with an individually wrapped vegan ice cream for her birthday, or feeding her to the brim. Note In a one-on-one conversation. For her, self-care is all about community.

Ice cream with plenty of volume! Look at the curls on this ribbon!

Source: Author (Hands Off!)

Buy lunch for a friend who just broke up with you, deliver soup to a new parent, check in on a co-worker who’s having a rough week, or care for a sick partner or child. , everyone has experienced this. If we pay attention, we realize that these small acts not only help others, but also nourish us. It’s similar to bees pollinating flowers. Bees feed pollen to flowers and receive sweet nectar in return. It feels good when you show up for others.

And let’s not deprive others of the same joy. One of the factors driving the self-care industry is the belief that we need to “fix” ourselves so that we don’t burden others with our imperfections. In fact, asking for help is an act of generosity and gives others the opportunity to ask for help.

True self-care for the end of the year

As I was writing this post at a coffee shop, doing some self-care alone, a friendly man with two large backpacks asked if he could share a table with me and encouraged me to keep writing. He encouraged me. After returning to my laptop for a few minutes, I decided to ask him about his trip. That led to a great moment of connection. Was it out of concern for him or for me? Most importantly, why can’t you do both?

Source: Nathan Dumlao/Unsplash

During the holidays, it’s tempting to be alone and indulge in some self-care. After the chaos of work, shopping, hosting, etc., quiet time can feel sorely needed. I value alone time, but when I think of self-care as just being alone, I miss something important. This season, instead of running away, you can pull in some self-care and connect. Jennifer’s approach reminds us that self-care and community care are more connected than we realize.

4 ways to turn community care into self-care

1. Small gestures: Avoid the pressure of the perfect gift. Instead, try small thoughtful actions. Buy a coffee for the person behind you in line, bake some extra cookies to share with a friend, or write a note to someone you’re grateful for. It’s nice to receive gratitude in return, but remember that the value lies in the giving.
2. check-in: Instead of retreating inward, reach out. A simple text or voice message can nourish each other. Along the way, you may ask for advice or help.
3. Meaningful conversations: Make time for meaningful conversations amidst the chaos of the season. Schedule a phone date with a friend far away or spend some quality time with family nearby. Try asking yourself the question, “What is something I was surprised to learn about myself this year?”
4. Unite people: If you’re feeling isolated, chances are the people around you are too. Invite your friends to join you for yoga, binge drinking, takeout, and more. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. You may find that helping others connect makes your self-care even more rewarding. Don’t know where to start? Check this out guide From the U.S. Surgeon General on easy ways to invite and host.

summary

I am a weekly leader Mindfulness On days when I don’t feel like taking any leadership roles in a group, I find the most joy in creating this space for others. This is a reminder that community care can be just as nourishing, if not more so, than staying home and lighting a candle.

Don’t worry. I’m not here to take away your alone time. We all need quiet moments. But this season, remember that self-care isn’t just about time. Embracing community care gives us access to something more permanent. The spa visits and candles may fade, but the connections we make are the gift that keeps on giving.

To find a therapist, visit: Psychology Today’s Therapy Directory.