Trap of Anger: Why We Set Trap to Make Anger Era

Being angry can make you feel better. And when we are in a relationship, it is often our partner that is our focus anger. Just like the dark side of the Force, anger is charming and seductive, but ultimately painful, self-destructive, and only without the sword of a cool, sparkling space. Being angry feels especially good when we feel justified. If we have clear and objective reasons to be angry, we can eliminate ourselves as part of the problem and see ourselves in the external circumstances that have happened to us when we are often those who create opportunities for these angry. This is done by setting up a trap for anger.

What is an angry trap?

Angry trap is when we create situations where we react to anger and are justified in doing so. Some examples of angry traps:

• We are passengers in our partner’s car and when we see them heading in the wrong direction, we can comment on how they took the wrong direction instead of pointing out this, so instead of pointing it out, we can comment on or observe in how they took the wrong direction Passive attack How to do that Ah, I see you decide to take a scenic route.
• Our partners want to plan a trip, but we feel I’m worried With money and plans ahead of time, we will retreat and refuse to participate. Our partners are tired of waiting for us in the end and are planning a trip. When you go on a trip, you know that you point out all you don’t like about your trip in an essential way, avoid responsibility for your plans, and don’t share your blame.
• We are asked by our partner to help us with something. Maybe they’re committed to doing what they need to do, but they can’t do it in that time frame. Instead of telling us why we don’t want to do this or anything about this we don’t enjoy, we bottle it and agree to the help. Then, at the point when help is most needed, we take down everything we didn’t say in advance and create a fight that feels justified that we are angry.

Does any of these scenarios sound familiar? If so, you could be a trap of anger. There is no such thing as the French fur traders who flourished in eastern Canada in the early 1600s. Wait – maybe just a little like that. Because both trappers set up traps in clever ways to get what they want, whether it’s a beaver fur or an angry excuse. When you think about it, there is another similarity. These trapping skills can be passed on for generations. You may learn from your parents how to set up these traps, and how to take advantage of your partner’s inability or rejection to not fall into them. We may not consciously consider ourselves as a trap of anger, but we certainly act like we are and this dynamic relationship becomes part of our relationship.

Why do we set up a trap of anger?

So, what does it get us? Certainly, we get mad, but we’re beyond that. Well, these traps, and the rage and conflict created by them, bring about a height of hostility and prevent it Intimate. Setting up a trap creates opportunities for conflict that prevents us from approaching, but when we dismantle a trap or set it up at all, we set it up to be closer, intimate and more vulnerable with our partner.

But why do we interfere with closer and intimate relationships? Because close and intimate relationships are scary. And this fear Although in reality it is just the tip of the iceberg, we can understand the concept of fear, but the reason behind this fear is more elusive. at this point Treatmentwe dig deeper into the client’s emotional history, relationships with parents, relationships with parents, and how they were modeled as children. At the surface level, we might all argue that we all want storybook relationships, but when the relationships modeled for us at a younger age are something other than storybooks, we find ourselves more comfortable with that approach, avoiding the emotional vulnerability needed to have truly happy and supportive relationships, and instead tend to set up traps to maintain our relationships at the non-storybook level.

We may not experience our everyday lives trying to think of ways to interfere with our relationships, but the reality is that these angry traps help us achieve. When we point out that our partner missed a turn, or when we travel when we criticize the choices made in its plan, when we feel our partner is chosen and unsupported, this prevents intimacy, vulnerability, trust, intimacy and support, all the qualities of what we might consider a healthy and positive relationship. If you find yourself setting up an angry trap, zoom out and think about what you’re doing and why. It may feel like we’re setting traps for others, but the reality is that the only person we’re trapped in.