The real reason is that it affects people differently

Two soldiers experience the same explosion. He returns home and gradually re-adjusted to private life. Another one will develop PTSDjumps to a sudden sound, showing unstable and violent behavior. Why?

What determines who leaves unharmed and who is carrying the invisible wound? The answer is not what we think we know about trauma. The amount of misinformation has made us the wrong impression.

Events are not as important as we believe

Most people still think that trauma is about what happens to them. In reality, it’s about what happens within us when something is overwhelming and when our system can’t handle it and solve it fear Or assumptions of how negative the experience is.

I defined trauma in my book Trauma and its aftermath As Long-term disruption of individual neurobiological, psychological and social functions due to unresolved emotional and physiological responses to overwhelming experiences perceived as threats and defeat.

Note the “unresolved” and “perceived” keywords. This is not about the objective severity of the event. It’s about whether the system can successfully metabolize what happened. And pay attention to the word “defeat.” This refers to the important fact that if no solution is found, the brain can’t do it either.

When a “regular event is traumatic

Consider these scenarios:

• Imagine watching a 6 year old break from fatigue. For adult observers, this may seem like an easy-to-manage situation. However, for a child whose survival is entirely dependent on the happiness of their mother, this moment can feel like they are facing their own death. Without realizing that moms may need rest, their developing brains may interpret this as “no one will ever live on me.”
• Or imagine a successful executive who is losing his job while downsizing his company. Objectively, this happens to millions of people who ultimately find new jobs. But in this person Identity And the sense of value is completely connected to them Career Success, loss can feel like social death – imagine rejection from friends and communities. shame And disapproval from their families.

The hidden power of perception

It is not objective severity that potentially traumatizes these experiences. It is the way they perceive them, and the meaning that the person assigns them. When someone’s mental state is defeated, when they feel that they cannot overcome the situation, or when hope fades, their brains go into emergency mode, and the entire system loses its balance.

This explains why the same event can have very different effects on people. A recovered soldier may have strong internal resources, social support, or previous experience that helps to contextualize the explosion as a dangerous but survivable event. Those who developed PTSD may lack these protective factors; Nervous system In the mercy of inefficient mechanisms that assume danger is imminent.

“Clearly” Paradox of Traumatic Events

Even the events that seem obvious trauma– Important accidents, natural disasters, violent crimes – Don’t automatically hurt everyone who experiences them. Why is it not good?

Because humans are amazing Resilience And our brains are always trying to work as best as possible. There are sophisticated internal mechanisms to assess risk, develop solutions, and access your wishes. If these systems work properly, even truly dangerous experiences can be handled and integrated without permanent disruption.

Consider emergency responders who regularly witness and maintain horrifying scenes Emotional stability. Their training provides a cognitive framework to understand what they are seeing, their teams provide social support, and their role gives them help others. These factors help the nervous system avoid the “defeat” response that characterizes traumatization.

Three important factors

Research reveals three key factors that determine whether experiences are traumatic.

• It’s overwhelming. Does your experience exceed your current coping ability? This will vary dramatically based on age, previous experience and latest stress Levels and available resources.
• Recognized helplessness. Do you think there is control or agency in the situation? The same car accident can hurt passengers so that the driver (who maintains some kind of sense of control) is relatively unaffected.
• Making meaning. How do you interpret what happened? Those who view cancer diagnosis as “a battle that I can fight” may do better than those who view “proof that life is randomly cruel.”

Factors of hope

Perhaps most importantly, traumatization occurs when hope fades away. It’s when someone believes that their situation is permanent, constant and insurmountable. This is the same reason divorce It could be freeing another person or destroying the same reason Childhood Experience will result in siblings having completely different outcomes.

Those who maintain the feeling that “I will pass this too” or “I can survive this” are involved in a different neurobiological pathway than those who conclude that “This will not end” or “I will never recover.”

Redefinition of Trauma

So, what hurts the experience? The psychological relationships between traumatic events and situations that an individual perceives as potentially life-threatening or harmful to his or her presence or well-being make a difference.

This definition shifts focus from cataloging “trauma events” to understanding individual responses. While other individuals may be deeply influenced by experiences of others dismissing as minors, we explain why some people can face objective fear without enduring damage, as they are unable to confine them to stories of victims or defeat.

This perspective offers hope, not despair. Healing is possible when trauma is primarily about how we handle experiences rather than the experience itself. Understanding that your response makes sense given your unique situation, resources and perceptions is the first step towards recovery.

Your nervous system’s response to an overwhelming experience reflects that wisdomnot your weakness. Sometimes that Intelligence It addresses outdated protection patterns, but with understanding and proper support, you can update your threat assessment and find ways to get back to balance.

The goal is not to be immortal to all the difficult experiences, but to strengthen your ability to handle them well when they inevitably arise.

Visit to find a therapist Psychology Today’s Therapy Directory.