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It seems that the number of people who can’t find a romantic partner is increasing. This issue has become so common that there are names that describe individuals who want to have a partner but can’t find them, mostly young and male. They are known as Incel (An unwilling shorthand for singles). So why is it difficult for so many young people to find and secure their peers?
To address this question, a recent study by Apostolou & Michaelidou (2024) examined 17 qualities that are thought to be related to Incel status. Mating effort, sexual Functioning, self-aware peer values; Self-esteem, make out Capacity, the ability to perceive signals of romantic interest, Intimidationchoice, body mass index, self-recognized beauty, broad personality Characteristics (Extraversion, Neuropathy, Agree, conscienceand Openness to experience),, Sexual orientationand from a previous relationship, I have children. Although Space does not allow detailed discussion of the article, it highlights some of the important findings that focus on character.
For both men and women, incel status was strongly associated with poor flirting ability. Not surprisingly, if you can cheate, you are more likely to secure a companion. The women who were Chouchier were also likely to be unwillingly single, and Chouchier became longer the longer they were single. The authors also found that women with high consent and conscience were more likely to marry or be in a relationship than women who were uncomfortable and unconscious.
For men, one of the most important predictors of incel status was to mate effort. Because women are mostly chosen over men (Whyte, et al., 2018), men must make greater efforts to convince women of their value as partners. Furthermore, there is still cultural expectation that men will begin romantic contact. Therefore, the more aggressively pursued men, the more successful they tend to be. The authors also found that both neurosis and self-esteem were associated with relationship states. Incel men were more likely to have a higher neuroticism and lower self-esteem (these two characteristics are highly inversely proportional: Judge 2002). Many of the quality (e.g., ability) that women seek is not readily observable and should be inferred from obvious behavior. Because abilities, strength, success, everything tends to be produced by highly popular qualities. Confidence, anxiety And low self-esteem is often interpreted as a signal of low mate value.
None of the above findings are particularly surprising, but the results pose a question of why the sudden incel rose. The answer may be, at least in part, in the cultural changes in the prevalence of some of these personality traits. There is evidence that younger adults have declined in both conscience and consent since the pandemic, but there is an increase in neurosis (Sutin et al., 2022). Each of these trends has important implications for relationships. Both low consent and high neurosis are associated with difficulties in relations (Esplinet. al., 2025; Wilmot & Ones, 2022), increasing the likelihood of division. As mentioned before, male neurosis reduces the value of a perceived spouse. Also, people with more neuroticism (low self-esteem) are more likely to feel insufficient, unstable and threatened with the prospect of approaching a potential partner, and thus undermine their mating efforts. In women, neurosis can also increase choice, as high neurosis tends to see the world through a more critical (negative) lens and are likely to reject suitors. Finally, a lower conscience means that they can spend less effort on their appearance or less time honing their social skills (Apostolou & Michaelidou (2024) found that conscience is positively associated with flirting skills in both men and women).
The reasons for the increase in incel are undoubtedly multifaceted, including multifaceted cultural and technical factors, but this study highlights some of the important ways in which personality contributes to this phenomenon.