No longer controlled by guilt

A place where there is no love, a sense Guilt That tends to happen. Our patients, PerfectionistSpecifically, they tend to put an overwhelming burden on the overwhelming amount of it. It would be fair to say that their lives are controlled by it. Guilt means Embarrassment It arises from the perception that we have broken important rules. This is a stronger sense of the more sacred rules are. And guilt is usually associated with at least a somewhat intense sense of self-importance, or the perspective that one’s self-sacrifice is meaningful. Those striving to become moral perfectionists, saints carry the weight of the world over their shoulders, believing that their actions will deeply affect those around them. So it’s just as important as every decision, every step, and each avoidance, every moment to them. It feels like everything is very important.

Blueprints for survival and meaning

Children who grow up in homes with at least one highly reactive parent tend to feel this way. Their role in relationships is shaped by obligation and consideration. Deviations can have catastrophic consequences. Therefore, moral perfectionism becomes a blueprint for survival and meaning. Here, every day is marked by success or failure and based on emotional impact, Caregivers. From a child’s perspective, this amount of influence can easily feel a special and powerful sensation, as if the world’s fate depends solely on them. It also makes you feel like you’re just a background character or extra, even if randomness and luck aren’t completely irrelevant. The bubbles in which the children live are determined entirely by them, knowing it. And, as they say, there is great power and great responsibility.

So for our moral perfectionists, life is defined by obligation and less by passion. As a result, one’s sense of self is modulated by the guilt dial. Furthermore, lack of love can also contribute to guilt. This occurs when you ask questions such as “Don’t you want to see your mother?” The meaning here is that the lack of desire means the lack of Thanksand in extreme cases Psychosisin the patient – “If I were a good daughter, I would just want to go see her.” But relationships with others, including parents, are troubling. So we might ask patients to focus on the foundation of love and explore whether there is little love in any relationship from the beginning. Love is accompanied by reciprocity, mutual interest in each other’s lives. It involves space and allows each other to live outside of their relationship. It involves minimal operation. In other words, guilt means that something normal should not be a prominent element. It has meaning and feels that each has meaningful influence on the other (this is unilaterally felt in relation to the basis of work alone). And it brings joy, and makes you look forward to each other’s company and feel better.

Self-importance perspective

When we have to force ourselves to spend time with others, we might ask: “Why do you think this is a moral issue?” And we go back to the perspective of self-importance. Children may learn that it can easily affect parents’ moods. “How much did you affect people who can’t contribute much to your life?” “Did you help them instantly, or did you help them see the world and their lives in the way they changed it to meaning?” “Are they happy to know that you spend time with them just because you felt guilty?” “Can you force them to enjoy their company?” And “Was this a moral issue? decision making? ”

In many cases, patients are relieved and discouraged to discover how limited their ability to influence others is. To be clear, I am not arguing that the relationship should be stopped. I argue that we should be more clear about what these relationships are and how they arise. Again, without the pull of love, a relationship built on guilt alone or primarily guilt alone, is built on a dysfunctional and unfair foundation. Our patients rarely ask themselves again because of guilt and self-importance. “If your child grew up like you, do you expect your child to want to spend time with you?” Many will say no.

We feel that guilt is objective, so we have to be doubtful of course, as if some God is enveloping us, and because it is based on the feeling that “it’s just like something.” Finally, I often feel strongly that I can overcome my guilt through activity. Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams said, “The Most Suffering People Childhood Usually, as an adult, they suffer the most, and suffer in scenarios that strangely reflect childhood circumstances. ” In this regard, the situation is said to be able to become a recipient and be found guilty.

Moral perfectionism is based on the flawed premise that the rewards of other worlds await saints, or at least those who may feel miracles, which creates a sense of hope that is almost impossible to throw away.