Menopause as a catalyst for spiritual growth

In case you haven’t noticed yet, the following is a hot topic in mainstream American culture right now: perimenopause And menopause. The symptoms associated with the menopausal transition are finally being given a more accurate name. In addition to the well-known hot flashes, it is now understood that symptoms such as hair loss, tinnitus, itchy skin, joint pain, and sleep disturbances are also directly related to women’s shifts. hormone— and for the past two decades, there have been medical warnings against drug use. hormone replacement therapy It was a big turnaround. Women are rushing to clinics seeking treatment for their symptoms, and most doctors are not treating them. Any education Those involved in menopause care, including many gynecologists, are rushing to become better educated.

Perimenopausal women feel less lonely, embarrassed, confused, and crazy. They share their experiences with each other on online forums and refuse to be gas cut by doctors. They are taking their suffering seriously, and medical institutions are beginning to respond. Despite the current backlash against women’s bodily autonomy in the United States, this focus on naming and treating the physical symptoms of menopause/menopause gives me great hope. He will give it to you.

Invitation to spiritual transformation

However, focusing solely on the physical symptoms of the menopausal transition is a missed opportunity. Physical changes are only part of the story.

As a clinical psychologist who specializes in women’s problems. middle ageI view the menopausal transition as a period of potential psycho-spiritual changes, rather than just biological changes. As if pubertythe midlife transition is a developmental stage that requires compassion, compassion, and grit to successfully navigate it. These are times when women’s souls are tested, when we are literally thrown into the fires of change, think hot flashes. An alchemical process is underwayThis is a process designed to change a woman, one that has the potential to properly guide her into the second half of her life.

Midlife calls for the courage to let go of what no longer fits and step into a more authentic, more realistic version of yourself. The goal is not to become. better Not a version of yourself Be more yourself.

But for so many women, this process burns out prematurely on a psychological level, or never ignites in the first place. A woman may feel the heat of a hot flash for years, but never fully enters the furnace of psychological transformation and cannot stay there long enough to be properly cooked into a new form. .

Her body changes, but her mind does not.

A process of psychological death and rebirth is necessary, and change can be scary and uncomfortable. In order to cross the threshold into the second half of life, psychologically speaking, we need to take an honest look at ourselves and overcome the layers of uncomfortable emotions (which often include repressed emotions). there is. sorrow and anger), we’ll be happy to make what you need sacrifice—behavior, form identityand social roles that we have been trained to perform in the first half of our lives but no longer fit into, including forms of female performance that are no longer life-giving (if at all).

The ego’s needs to be socially accepted, wanted, to establish an identity and a clear social role, which were prioritized earlier in life, are now in their rightful place and deeper parts of themselves are You may start making decisions. Subtle changes in internal gravity are required.

Too many women cannot respond to that call. Too many people hold on to their own outdated behaviors and ways of thinking that no longer fit. Too many people succumb to resignation and frustration. Some people receive hormone replacement therapy treatment and fantasy To turn back the clock and regain lost youth. This mindset can impede your ability to psychologically transition later in life and lead to an impasse.

surely, It’s so easy to get stuck If your culture doesn’t support the midlife transformation process, you have little language for it, and you lack role models on how to navigate the second half of life. Change doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

A step towards a new story

In order to properly cross the threshold into a new psychological realm in midlife, one must first and foremost believe in the potential of that new realm. In order to believe, we must work to dispel the harmful narratives passed down by dominant culture about what it means to be a midlife woman and dare to explore new kinds of narratives about midlife and beyond. I need to step in. Our patriarchal, youth-obsessed, youth culture doesn’t understand.

We have to work hard to break free from the dominant storyline that a woman’s value and joy lies in pleasing her. House sitting Others who are young, fertile and possess a certain kind of beauty. We need to be willing to look beyond midlife narratives that focus only on decline and decline (without denying the very real changes that occur as we age), and to Like a fool, you need to jump off a cliff into the unknown. To start a new adventure. We have to believe in the possibility that something meaningful, and perhaps even delicious, is waiting for us to meet us there.

wake up

The menopausal transition is an opportunity to wake up. We become more fully awake to the cries and cries from deeper parts of ourselves than we usually hear. Some call this part the self, others the soul. unconscioussome call it God. Call it whatever makes sense to you. My point here is that if we want the second half of our lives to be deeply meaningful, we have to make the hard effort of listening at this level of our being.

So if you’re 46 and just woke up at 4 a.m. drenched in night sweats, consider that there might be something valuable working inside you. Please seek help for your physical symptoms. But also try the possibility that these changes are helping you wake up more fully. The 13th-century Sufi mystic poet Rumi advised, “Never sleep again.”

please never sleep again

The dawn breeze has a secret to tell you.
Don’t sleep twice.

You have to ask for what you really want.
Don’t sleep twice.

people are coming and going
the other side of the entrance threshold
A place where two worlds meet.

The door is round and open.
Don’t sleep twice.

–Rumi

Go to the forest at dawn or dusk. This is the threshold time that reflects the in-between time you are currently in. listen to you carefully dreamget a glimpse of your deepest longings. Listen to what seems to be coming through you. Then your life may gradually serve something beyond your ego. go to the hut alone If you need more space and time for this listening, bring a notebook and pen. Open your mind, heart, ears, eyes, and nose. Please bring sense of humor Because the trials of midlife are both serious and absurd.

And share your experience with other middle-aged women and seek help from clinicians and other advisors who you feel have your biggest and most outlandish interests in mind. Your process is unique to you, but it truly takes a village to get an initiate across the threshold.