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I’m in love with a perfectionist



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One of the few important constants among the different types of perfectionists is the many distorted nature of their relationship, from refusing to accept the flaws from those who believe they are already perfect to those who believe they can work hard enough to reach perfection.

We tend to write about perfectionist perspectives, their high standards, and how they struggle afterwards, but rarely cover the experiences of their partners, friends and colleagues. But as long as people change with treatment, they often do so for others, not for themselves. The general myth is that people need to want to change for themselves or else change is unreliable. But when we prioritize them in our lives over ourselves and our own obsessions, at least sometimes, we enhance our ability to change our personality in a somewhat meaningful way. Essentially, their care is a way of helping us ourselves.

Perfectionism is a complex component. It may appear in something magnificent narcissismperfectionists permanently pursue higher degrees of status and power to prove to themselves their inherent, unlimited reality (this can be marked by universal admiration). For them, it embodies the ultimate form of security. It is simply a force that is not permitted (this tends to relate to success-oriented perfectionism. It may manifest in fragile narcissism. It creates itself from criticism, and strives to create the only goal that perfectionist barricades tend to relate to the highest form of security, meaningfulness – this tends to relate to moral perfectionism, moral perfectionism, assumptions as good. Obsessive Compulsiveness Perfectionists believe that they should be perfect and perfect, so whether they are public or private, they suffer permanently with the outlook of love (this is associated with both forms of perfectionism mentioned above). Each symptoms are accompanied by preconceived notions Fantasy And the belief that perfection leads to paradise.

Perfectionist partners and friends tend to be enveloped in their world and settled in scrapping Note. When perfectionism is merely self-consumption, they are chronically ignored. If it tends to be projected outward, they are chronically abused. Living together Perfectionist Partners are to experience an endless sense of despair and ineffectiveness. Lower standards are laughed out, praise is discounted, and blame changes responsibility. Other individuals often wonder if they are actually problematic.

Partners and perfectionist friends often feel helpless. Just as perfectionists seem unable to make themselves happy, they don’t allow others either, except for the larger group. In doing so, we betray the vulnerability, the perception that one might need another, and the other might have all the power over them. (Though what a group or the public needs may be easier to swallow, individual loss may feel more personal and important.) For a robust individualist, happiness It exists within and for yourself, and others are branded as codependent. But again, when we prioritize others above us, their reactions – modestness, care, curiosity – make us happy. On average, what we do for them tends to make us happier than most of what we do for ourselves, even if it bothers us in itself. And if we are honest with ourselves, there is no robust individualism. Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams pointed out that narcissistically structured individuals need other people deeply, but rarely love them, but while others need them deeply, they are deep fear Love them.

The partner feels isolated and unwanted and does not recognize the perfectionist fear of personal affection. Perfectionists may be on their way to it (at least in theory) through fame and admiration. Confidence To love them as if they prove their worth to themselves. Unfortunately, blinded by their tunnel vision, they cannot see that they already own what appears to be lying at the end of this delusional path.

Therefore, they interfere with what they may want most.

This post is written more for perfectionists and less for their partners. It is up to perfectionists to be fully interested in discovering how they affect and diminish those around them. It is not their partner’s job to make excuses all the time for them. As long as this post is written for partners and friends, it’s about letting them know that much of this is not personal. Perfectionists often fail to acknowledge the needs of others, and underestimate the people they are involved in in the same way they downplay their accomplishments, primarily because of the intense fear of allowing them to experience joy themselves. I understand that I’m leaving.



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