I don’t feel good

Recognizing emotions and knowing what gets in the way of emotions is central to most models. Psychotherapy. Once you become aware of your defenses against emotions, you will find yourself protecting yourself from feelings that are often caused by previous harmful experiences, unbearable or unpleasant. Accessing emotions in a gradually cooperative way results in increased awareness of emotions and tolerance that allow them to live more fully.

Change triangle

Change Triangle is the incredible tool Hilary Jacobs Hendel offers in her book Not always depression; It gives us a “maps of the mind, a logical and science-based path to follow for salvation and recovery.” (Hendel, 2018, p. 15).

This visual tool includes defense, inhibitory emotions, and core emotions. When we can fall and be with our core emotions, we live in a “hearted state of authentic self.” Handel explains when we are within our authentic self, we are “serene, connected, curious, caring, confident, courageous and clear.”

The triangle has “what we do to avoid emotions” in the top left corner. Crossing the top of the triangle in the right corner, you can see the “Suppressed Feelings –anxiety, shameand Guilt. “Both defensive and inhibitory emotions prevent us from falling into our core emotions, represented by the base of the triangle –fear, angersadness, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement.

Defense – Nothing we do to avoid emotions

Defense is a clever way of preventing our minds from feeling pain or overwhelmed. It’s important to appreciate our defenses, but they get in the way of being completely present. Some examples of defense: arrogance, addictive, overworking, overworking, not speaking, not listening, criticizing, forced. A lot of energy is invested to avoid discomfort.

Restraint feelings

Painful emotions such as anxiety, shame, and guilt prevent us from falling into our core emotions. Inhibitory emotions often develop as a result of negative experiences and longings in childhood to maintain connections with others. For example, if you had an easily angry parent, you may have worried and tried to become a “good” child to please that parent. You are still embarrassed, perhaps as a result of the internalized negative belief that “it’s not enough” from the hurtful criticism of an angry parent. Second, you can deal with others in relationships such as bosses, colleagues, intimate partners, friends, etc. to stay connected. Some clients experience guilt, but they have done nothing wrong. The current situation can cause old problems and emotions that are not suitable for the present.

Core emotions

Defensive and restrained emotions keep us stuck. They interfere with experiencing our core emotions. Being our self, feeling safer and fully connected than ever before is a state worth working towards.

What to do

I suggest to clients that they place a triangle where they often see it. Then ask yourself, where are they at that moment in the triangle? What do they know? Core feel, defense, or inhibitory Feelings.

Anxiety, a suppressive emotion, can be experienced when we suppress our core emotions. I ask my clients what they imagine when they identify their anxiety. In most cases, they can identify emotions – fear or sadness. The same can be done with defense. For example, what are they afraid of when they choose to retreat and not talk?

Trigher Triangle helps raise awareness of how to deal with things that may not be working very well. Addressing what led to using emotions gives us insight into our struggles. Seeking treatment can help relieve and recover from previous harmful experiences.

©Lambert