How to stand up to the narcissist

Narcissists experience conflict. It’s how they put you in a response while trying to get what they want. It is the perfect playground for those who want to empower and control others. The emotional reward for successful discussions against narcissists is high. It’s addictive, persuasive, and for many, it’s just fun.

Narcissists enjoy showing their control in conflict, but when they oppose arguments they cannot win, they tend to have one of two reactions: they attempt emotional manipulation (explosively angerbreaks with false tears) or leave.

Simple and effective conflict rules

Narcissists thrive in conflict, so the idea of ​​facing them may feel intimidating. Fortunately, there are easy and effective ways to do so without sacrificing your long-term peace (although it may take some degree of intense and drastic change to achieve that goal).

First First: Establish boundary actively.

It is important to set boundaries with the narcissist in advance. Once you recognize the behavior, decide which boundaries you want to place and state them clearly. It eliminates the wiggle room and the opportunity for someone to play innocently.

Develop scripts and stick to them.

When you stand up to a narcissist, you don’t want to “play it with your ears.” It will attack you, Guilt– Tried, accused, used. Instead, rehearse what you want to express clearly and clearly. Yes, it’s important to rehearse it. You don’t want to get your trajectory back on track because it opens you up to emotional attacks.

The script is beautiful when it comes to confronting the narcissist to prevent instantaneous reactions and detours. You’ll probably feel as if you’re repeating yourself over and over again – that’s a sign that your script is working. The narcissist repeatedly pushes your boundaries to make sure you stick to them. With scripts you can easily do so even in the heat of the moment.

On the surface, it’s not emotional.

Narcissists want to press your buttons to get an emotional response from you, so it’s important to stay superficially calm in moments of conflict. If they give them what they want – whether it’s a big, over-the-top response, even a small hint that you’re feeling strong about what’s going on, they’ll latch it and use it to give you what they want.

Focus on your needs, not on how they hurt you.

The narcissist cannot handle being drawn in unfavourable light. Focusing yourself can help you stand up to your actions to avoid problems that may cause. Use the scripts you’ve explained to explain what you’ll do, how you need to deal with yourself, and avoid blaming the language. State your plan of action and leave it as is. If you start digging into why and why the situation is, open the door to a constant barrage of defense, indictment and manipulation.

Leave victim mode.

When confronting a narcissist, don’t put yourself in victim mode. Yes, you may have been victimized, but it does not make you a helpless victim. Rather, you are someone you have learned through experience. Now is the time to apply that experience to change your future trajectory. Regardless of your audience, praise yourself for being able to know what you need and defend it.

If possible, face it in writing.

Confronting narcissists in writing must be a golden rule. This will allow you to go smoothly, take control of your story and respond emotionally before you react. Nor can we discuss unnecessary details that can make the water muddy.

Make discussions time sensitive.

If you have to face the narcissist directly, set a time limit on your conversation. Before we discuss anything, we first set boundaries and stick to it. If you are five minutes away from the time limit, then you should be politely interrupted and reminded everyone involved that you must leave at that point. This will help you avoid boring detours that will help you move you away from your boundaries.

Conflicts are not ideal, but they are helpful

The best way to deal with a narcissist is to remove yourself from a relationship completely, but there are some examples of how it is not possible. Learning ways to help you stand up to them without sacrificing your boundaries or emotional well-being is crucial to protecting yourself.

Above all, don’t sacrifice safety to avoid conflict or to make your narcissist happy. It sets you in the path of heartache and pain and prevents you from ensuring that you protect your needs. Standing up to the narcissist is challenging and requires a nerve in steel, but sometimes it’s just a necessary evil.