How to reveal your child’s strengths: Stop those labels

“Freedom”, “unmotivated”, “fragile”, “back”. These are just a few of the negative labels that apply to today’s youth.

We read stories about how they suffer from the learning loss of the pandemic and the adolescent mental health crisis. “Kids are obsessed with their phones” is a common complaint. It all becomes the less useful label “Anxiety Generation.”

Some supporters argue that these labels help doctors diagnose problems and provide appropriate care. However, most people do it using labels and are not diagnosed with the purpose of knowing or resolving something. And too often, diagnosis moves to take responsibility. This has been seen on a large scale since the pandemic. It’s time to change the story and instead seek the strengths of the child.

The real job of stress, injury and healing

As a psychiatrist, if I had labeled patients, I would have repeatedly reminded me of the holes they had and the future they would never have, they would not have come back to see me. Many people had terrible experiences trauma– But who in this world wants to be defined by the worst thing that has happened to them?

Think of it like this. Your child is in a bicycle accident Concussion And then a fracture, you will see a trauma doctor who will give you a prognosis. Doctors can often predict how long it takes to heal and what they will need to do to recover. You will partner with the medical team to get to work, as you want your child to walk again, ride his bike again and bring him back to life.

Recovery from a serious injury is a serious job. It involves finding a balance between rest and strengthening, which includes uninjured parts, which can improve the injured parts. After a child suffers a serious injury, parents are told that their child cannot go to school. If you have a concussion, the child Screen time For weeks or months to rest your brain. It’s difficult, but over time it becomes more relaxing.

Healing is even more difficult for anyone below stress. Not all stress is bad. Small amounts can help you prepare yourself for testing, racing, or performance. When stress is well regulated, people can adapt and even get even stronger. But you continue to stress without worrying – whether it takes a break or not, meditation, nutritionor simply fun activities – harm and harm your chances of recovery.

When cumulative stress hits the brain, we begin to move from health to illness. We lose focus, get mad and can’t remember things. We are less productive. Stress causes flooding hormone Cortisol taxes symptoms with our immune system anxiety, depressionand other mental illnesses may emerge. I’m looking at it with mood fluctuations, loss appetiteand loss of will.

Healing requires strengths, partners and purpose

But that’s not the end of the story. Humans are wired for healing, growth and recovery. This is a dynamic process that often requires coaches, doctors, physiotherapists or teachers to guide. You need a partner to heal.

I had a doctor who was such a partner. And that’s who I have been for my patients. When my patient complained about mental illness, problems at school, or dealing with relationships with parents, I didn’t Catastrophe Because they were becoming hopeless.

Instead, that’s what I did. Even amidst the failure and disappointment, I searched for and found their strengths. It’s not as difficult as you might think. Very often, our failures unearth our strengths and ambitions. And if you work with kids like me, you know their disappointment is a great opportunity to reach the same team.

I ask the patient: “What do you want in your life? Not just your parents’ vision, but your life?” And I often wait a long time. But when they finally answered, I knew they were ready to partner with me on plans to move forward.

They didn’t want to be held back. They wanted to be treated like people ready to challenge. Never once wanted only relief from mental health symptoms. They wanted a big life. They wanted purpose, love, friendship and success in what they chose and cared for. They wanted healing, and when they knew this was possible, they wanted them dream. They developed new muscles that emerged from facing and overcoming their challenges.

Change the story and change the outcome

The pandemic has been a major academic and emotional crash for many children. But even knowing what is necessary to overcome major challenges, such as injuries and failures, we are still not doing enough to help a struggling child. Recent gloomy reading and mathematics scores show that there is a continuing decline in achievements that began before the pandemic continues.

It’s time for a dramatic change in today’s story about young people. It acknowledges the depth of the pandemic’s regression, but it does not have labels or liability. Getting kids off the phone can help for many reasons, but that’s not a big win here. Winning comes when it offers them the opportunity to discover their strengths, enrich relationships, build academic and social skills, and use their energy to solve problems that are important to them.

Healing requires relationships, hope, time, not labels. With our young people, we plan to do our job, charge it to a manageable size, and allow them to celebrate success in their achievements the goal. They shouldn’t do this on their own. In fact, this is extremely difficult to do on its own.