How to deal with bad news

Imagine: your home has been robbed. You’ve been fired. Your partner has tricked you and walked you. You have been diagnosed with a life-changing condition…

Bad news can leave us to a state of fear and despair. It’s as if we were being pushed to the ground, our whole world is falling apart. we fear It’s very worst and we can’t take it out of our minds or intestines. Often, other messy emotions are enveloped anger, Guiltdespair, betrayal, and love.

Bad news: we all have it, and the worst hasn’t come yet.

So, how is it best to deal with it?

I offer you three cognitive strategies, or mind exercises, picked up from a stoic philosopher who can count Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius among their followers in the second century.

All three strategies aim to generate perspectives in one way or another. While reading, keep the recent bad news in front of your mind and think about how your strategy will apply to your bad news.

Contextualization

Frame the bad news and put it in the right context. Think about all the good things in your life. Remember all the strengths and resources (friends, facilities, faculty) you can attract when you need them. Imagine how things get much worse, and how they actually are. Your home may have been robbed. Yes, you lost some valuables, and it’s all such a huge hassle. But you still have your health, your work, your partner, and the most magical thing of your cat. Bad things will sometimes hit us, and it’s only a matter of time before they hit us again. Often, they are just the backstage of the good things we enjoy. You were burghed because you had a house and valuables. You lost a great relationship because you had one in the first place. That alone, many bad things are merely elimination or reversal of the good.

Negative visualization

Secondly, we focus on the bad news itself. What is the worst thing that can happen, is it really so bad? You have the worst situation you can’t get in the way, so what’s the best possible outcome? And what are the most likely outcomes? Imagine someone threatening to sue you. The worst possible outcome is that you lose the case and incur the costs involved, stressand emotional and well-received wounds. That’s unlikely, but you might even have time in prison (it happened to some people, and some did pretty well from it, like Bertrand Russell). But the most likely outcome is that you will reach a kind of out-of-court settlement. And the best possible outcome is that you win the case, or even better, it’s dropped.

conversion

Finally, try turning your bad news into something positive or something with a positive side. Your bad news may represent learning or reinforcement experiences, act as wake-up calls, or force you to reassess your priorities. At the very least, it provides an opportunity to exercise the window into the human condition and dignity; self control. Maybe you lost your job: holidays and promotional times, or Career Change, or self-employed freedom and fulfillment. Maybe your partner has fooled you. Still, you are sure that he or she still loves you, there’s something there. Perhaps you can even bring yourself to see it from his or her perspective. Yes, of course it hurts, but that could be another opportunity forgiveBuild closer IntimateTo restart your relationship, or to go out and find something more fulfilling. You have been diagnosed with a serious medical condition. It’s awful news, but it’s also an opportunity to get the support and treatment you need, to control, to fight back, and to see your life and your relationship from another rich perspective.

In conclusion, the Taoist story

There is a Taoist story about an old farmer who only escaped by horses. “That’s such awful news!” said the neighbor. “Maybe it isn’t,” the farmer replied. The next day, the horse returned with six wild horses. “Amazing news like this!” cried out my neighbor. “Maybe it isn’t,” the farmer replied. The next day, the farmer’s son tried to tame one of the wild horses, but was thrown out and broken his leg. “That’s such awful news!” I cried out my neighbor. “Maybe it isn’t,” the farmer replied, biting the peach. A week later, the war broke out. Thanks to a broken leg, the farmer’s son managed to escape military draft. “In the end, everything went well,” the neighbor said.

“Maybe it isn’t,” the farmer replied, rolling his eyes.

Neil Burton is the author of Stoic stories.