General survival strategies for immigrant adult children

The term “sink or swim” can resonate with the immigrant community. this is Research suggests Immigrant children are often the subject Child-raisingwhere children assume the role of parents. If you have one or more parents who are immigrants, you may have felt like you grew up with them. Without you they might have sunk.

This may have felt normal as it was expected and sometimes necessary. Your parents may have had to do this among them Childhoodand being a little helper could have been rewarded or praised. but, Research shows that Child-raising It can be harmful to your development and mental health.

Furthermore, immigration faces a unique challenge called cultural stress. This occurs when immigrant children do not also accommodate the level of parental acculturation. Fits Parental guidance leads to role reversal and strengthening parent-child conflict. To cope with this stress and pressure, immigrant children may have developed ways to survive. Below are some common survival strategies for immigrant adult children.

Containment

Collectivist Society is a strong social and personal bond, and people are part of a strong, cohesive group. A collectivist society is more likely to cultivate attractive family dynamics where family needs overwhelm individual needs. This allows an individual to sacrifice his or her own needs and desires for the benefit of his or her family. Western psychology may consider this to be toxic. But for someone in a collectivist culture, this may be considered an obligation as a member of the family.

If you or your parents came from a more collectivist culture, doing the best thing for the group may have been the value encouraged in your childhood. This may be an accepted norm in parental host countries, but it contrasts with the individualistic ideals of America. You believe that is the right thing is different from doing something, so you think that’s what your parents and family want to do, so it’s about doing something.

Mindreading

If you were a child you grew up, you might have had to do a lot Mindreading. It’s easy to get lost in words with translation. As an interpreter and a small helper, you may have been used to predicting your parents’ needs. Hypervigilance has become a survival strategy. All expressions, sighs, pauses and tone changes were important. You’ve learned to pay Note Use your own needs and clues for others.

Problem Solving

Children raising children are also problem solvers. Your parents came to you for help. In the past, you probably had to understand things for them because of linguistic/cultural barriers, time, or because no one could. Therefore, your reflex is to solve the problem. If someone shares complaints about the problem, even if no one asks you, they may feel like they want to find a way to fix it.

What happens after survival?

These survival skills were developed back then and there, but sometimes your body may not realize you are not there anymore. This is because these behaviors are conditioned for repeated exposure. They’ll be embedded in you Nervous system and neural networks. They become autoresponders. Your body still believes you are back there and these reactions will be carried out in other areas of your life, such as work, friendship, love.

Therefore, it is important to recognize these responses and to acknowledge their purpose and intent. In doing so you can begin to create new neural pathways that may be more aligned with your values ​​or that may create less stress and function in your life.

Immigrant adult children can be identified boundary By identifying the family’s personal and collective needs and adjusting their expectations based on this new self-awareness, knowledge and acceptance, it works for both themselves and their families.