Four unconscious adult bully patterns

31% of Americans experience adulthood BullyingAccording to Harris’ polls investigation.

Bullying is an attempt to feel strong and achieve recognition/status at the expense of others. Any type of bullying stems from the need for approval/Note and/or anxiety (e.g., barrel inmentality).

This applies regardless of whether bullying will push your peers in lockers and drive away the swirls at toilet stalls or deflect each other in countless contexts (e.g., family, expert, religion, politics, and more. Athleticor social).

“Bullies gain power in relationships by reducing others’ things and have little consideration for the consequences of victims’ mental health and well-being,” says Charles Sophie, a Los Angeles-based psychiatrist and medical director. “Bullying is a coping strategy used to assert control when faced with personal limitations.”

Under this drive for power and control is normal trauma Experience of bullies feeling inadequate, unstable, overlooked, ignored and abandoned.

Examining the emotional roots of bullying can help you unravel some Unconscious Adult bully pattern.

1. The powerlessness of the unconscious

Unconscious helplessness (e.g., victim mentality) can explain why adult bullies are often not seen beyond their own victims. As I explain Previous Postadult bullies can do mental exercises to justify, rationalization Their untrained hostilities.

Unconsciously, their past sacrifices can prevent them from thinking of themselves as an adversary, agitator, provocateur, or people with emotionally manipulative and abusive coping mechanisms. But their victims and blame are often choked into conscious manipulation, but I’m really sure that most are victims of the one-way struggle that they have caused and escalated.

2. Unconscious anxiety

Unconscious anxiety can explain why many adult bullies are often accomplished and unable to distinguish between the actual personality of a capable target and the flaws of the arrogance, elitism, or self-promotional characters they project.

As I’ll be careful Previous Postadult bullying often begins projection “They think they’re everything,” “They’re just proud of their eyes and longing for attention,” or “Don’t praise too much, or they’ll get a big head.”

Ironically, adult bullies choose targets that are confident enough to laugh at themselves, humble, do not take themselves too seriously, and targets that are constructively criticized without any defensive or accusation shift.

However, their relationship trauma likely taught them that all people were self-centered, selfish and competitive, so adult bullies may not be able to sense these qualities. So, at best, they mistakenly judge the target as snootying, and at worst they misconceive the target as “intimidating” because they are unable to portray an inadequate sensation from the predicted character flaws.

3. The unconscious fear of rejection of something different

Unconscious fear Refusing to do something different might explain why adult bullies tend to choose nonconforming and unconventional targets. As I explain Previous Postadult bullies often try to “level down” unique or quirky companions that appear to be safe among them Creativityvoice, and independent thinking.

While others may admire these brave traits, adult bullies can see the opportunity to replicate the dynamics in which others have expelled differences. Therefore, adult bullies can distort uniqueness into suspected pathological deviations from the “common sense” of “common sense” (e.g. “They are crazy”) Fitsidentity, GroupThinkand please people. Many people can even juxtapose their targets to make them look more “normal.”

4. Unconscious despair over popularity

Finally, the unconscious despair over popularity forces many adult bullies to hide their harm with the “nice guy” or “good gal” persona. It seems that many have experienced no Cognitive Dissonance Meanwhile, you will damage your target’s reputation and status through rumors, smear campaigns, and sessions with associates and higher ups, while protecting your name/network.

Where are relational attacks in?

relational Invasion This is what many social psychologists call this dual-face behavior of self-qualification, disrupting the target social networks and relationships.

According to various scholars, relational attacks are defined as follows:

1. “We will harm peer relationships through exclusion, rumors and manipulation.”
2. “A form of secret attack defined as a series of manipulative actions used to inflict other damages through a relationship, a threat of damage, or both.”
3. “Intent to injure others through non-physical injuries or manipulation of a relationship — that is (i.e. rumours, rumours, ignores, excludes) or explicitly (e.g., if I don’t do what I say, I’m not your friend.”

In particular, relationship aggression can impart physical bullying aggression to physical bullying. Unfortunately, relational attacks, like emotional aggression, receive less attention and resources than physical attacks. narcissismand spiritual Abuse is minimized compared to physical abuse.

Furthermore, an important aspect of adult bullying is its inconspicuousness. Harris’ poll investigation For example, mentioned above, a quarter of respondents reported that they had experienced quiet treatment from individuals or groups on a repeated basis, with 20% spreading that no one had rebutted.

However, some onlookers may not detect anything. As Rachel Simmons wrote in the book Strange Girls: The Hidden Culture of Girls’ Aggression“Secret attacks aren’t just not caught. Half of them seem to abuse anyone in the first place.”

The calculated underhandness, subtlety, and sidedid lol of adult bullying often means that the target is not only isolated in terms of who publicly defends, but also in terms of the degree to which others personally believe.

Gathering evidence of a secret attack is usually difficult, if not impossible. Gas light And the manipulation often works on the bystanders. Adult bullies can be very successful in undermining the credibility of the target, and the target is double traumatized by its own bullying, and secondly, by incredible despite thorough explanations and evidence.

So how can we incorporate awareness of relational aggression into our understanding of interpersonal/social dynamics?

Without a doubt, the most important takeaway about relationship attacks is, first, assuming that someone trying to bully someone else could ultimately bully you, and second, not to be confused as to whether the “nice” bully is actually not a bully.