Finding joy in sadness while on vacation

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Holidays are often bittersweet. thanksjoy, and connection, but also a time to remember those who have passed away and lost traditions. Many people experience the bittersweetness of winter holidays, but for some it’s more bitter than sweet. It can be difficult to feel grateful when there is more sadness than joy and less connection than loneliness.

Even though I lost my mother over 15 years ago, I still struggle with the holidays. For many years, I wasn’t able to celebrate my mother’s favorite holidays and most important moments with my family. I missed (and still do miss) my mom’s joy for vacations, even during difficult times.

But there are a few things I’ve learned that can inspire the joy and enthusiasm my mother had for the holidays.

1. Find ways to honor those who are grieving. One of the hardest parts of loss is knowing how much to let go and how much to hold on to. There is a delicate balance between holding on to memories and pushing someone away instead of allowing them to live life without them. sorrow And erase the memory to avoid pain. While decorating the tree, I realized that setting aside some special time during Christmas to remember my mom and her antics was important to getting us through this difficult time. Every year, I decorate it with my mom’s favorite ornament. Since the glass is delicate, it takes time to carefully unwrap it from the tissue paper and place it on the tree. These ornaments take more time than all other ornaments combined. Because I hold each ornament in my hand and spend time reminiscing about my favorite memories with her. Although they are the same ornaments, I found a new meaning in displaying each one. Find small ways to honor your loved ones in your own life. It doesn’t have to be flashy, big, or expensive, but it should make you feel a connection to them.
2. Continuing old traditions. It can be hard to want to do the things your loved ones enjoyed without them, but continuing those traditions can help maintain some normalcy in the face of change. . When I first started celebrating Christmas alone, I was a graduate student, separated from my family, and living alone with the exception of a cat or two. I told myself that I would decorate and bake cookies with my mom, so why not give it a try? While I was doing this, I heard my mom say that she was sprinkling the floor again. It hurt, but for the first time in a long time, I could truly laugh.
3. Create meaningful traditions. I moved forward by honoring my mother’s favorite ornaments and cherishing the memories while embracing my own traditions. I love cats and always have. For the holidays, we started a tradition of giving the cats little stockings with their names sewn on them and filling each one with their favorite toy. During Christmas and Thanksgiving, I make Cornish chickens for me, my cat, and the stray cats outside who often come to the food bowl outside our house. Find new traditions that will bring joy back to the holidays. Sometimes it’s as simple as what you’re already doing. In my case, I pamper my cat and feed her outdoors.

It may seem impossible to have a happy holiday when you’re grieving, but it’s possible to find small moments, even if it’s just a few seconds. As much as it is the big changes, it is the small steps that lead us to healing. Every holiday season, I try to find more joyful moments while my mom is away. And I hope you find the same joy.