Find a path through parent-child relationships after brain injury

By anonymity

When you have a brain injury, becoming a parent can be very different to the way you imagine it. The potential impact it has is as broad as the personality associated with the type of brain damage. Understanding transsurface dynamics in long-term recovery from brain injury can make a huge difference.

I experienced herpes simplex virus encephalitis (HSVE) in my early 20s, and studied in university and became a midwife. This is a virus that can cause hell pain. Despite barely surviving, my recovery seemed smooth. I only had two neuropsychology assessments. One was a hospitalized patient, one was an immediate period of recovery and the other about nine months later I was signed off to get back to studying. After a hard time at first, I graduated 2:1, was hired and encephalitis was quite forgotten. As far as I can remember, the long-term implications have never been investigated or discussed.

Being a mother was a great ambition, and there was no world in which I existed so that I wouldn’t have a baby myself. When asked if I had children, I told my mother and family with a smile that I knew there was “still longer.” Fast forward over 10 years and I was treated for fertility Pregnantby myself. I couldn’t point out why the relationship was a challenge, but I invested everything in a relationship that didn’t have the same commitment. A lot of things were more challenging than I had expected in life, but when I turned my mind to it, I was always determined. So, at age 38, I finally gave birth to my long-awaited baby. But something was wrong.

Through my experts Career I saw so many types Child-raising– Access culture, different dynamics, different family structures – but this just felt different. I was numb. It’s totally emotionally paralyzed. protection fear Many of those mothers have just never come. The rush of love was not there. i didn’t understand. The fear I felt was that I could find it, and my ability to be a parent would be questioned. Medical elements have been taken over. My son had surgery at 3 months old and feeding was a huge challenge so dealing with my emotions was a back seat. I never doubted he would be breastfed, but he was later diagnosed with medical problems so he couldn’t smoke well. This, coupled with my numbness, meant that I felt like a complete failure. Throughout the sleepless night, I couldn’t even think about what to sing to him in a state of tiredness. There are very few soothing songs.

Despite dealing with night shifts throughout my career, it is still enduring. insomnia Without recovery, it would have been extremely difficult to deal with. I rarely used a pram, hoping he would feel he was approaching me.

I threw it all into work to hide it and hired a wonderful, loving nanny to take care of him. I had to be sure someone could show him the love I had not felt. Getting this meant my career had to be big, so we made friends there, but based abroad, away from family and friends. Finally, when he was about 1 year old, I started. Treatment To help me deal with the numbness that never faded away. I find a way to adapt to the feelings I lack and realize that what I do for him shows my love, and it has grown in several ways. Still, I sometimes feel like I’m acting rather than living the real feelings of parenting.

Three years ago, when he was 3 years old, I had a problem affecting another brain: pituitary tumor/McLeodoma with bleeding. It was choking my optic nerve and I was losing my vision. I couldn’t read to my son. My son was a classic backup when I knew what to say when I ran out of words, but that happens frequently. But there is a possibility that more will happen. I had to find a way to survive for him. I had no clue as to who would take him or who would take him if I was seriously affected by it or if I didn’t actually make it. I juggled last minute support to take care of him while I was in the hospital, but I didn’t know what would happen to him in the long run. I just had to put up a parenting mantra It’s okay, just go. Surprisingly, my eyesight has almost returned. The surgery was successful and besides clear needs HRTI showed up relatively unharmed, especially in helping to deal with parenting. However, repeated inevitable MRI shows historical damage caused by encephalitis, which opens up a whole new level of understanding and adaptation methods. Only this week in September 2025, I finally saw a neurologist start to understand it all.

Dealing with the irritating situations of raising children has been a major challenge. I’m struggling to contain it, and yes, I scream sometimes. He was old enough so after I was able to settle down, I always apologise for how it exploded to him. I’ve explained several times that my brain works a little differently, explaining why I was so frustrated, and we agree on how to prevent it from happening again. Often this is forgotten (mainly by me), but of course I hope it helps him to understand what is accepted and what is not accepted. We have some books for kids that we searched everywhere. It helps you understand the differences in the brain. I think he understands the main elements forgive When I struggled. My advice to experts is to think about the big picture. Think about the long-term impacts and needs that will come at different stages of your life, such as becoming a parent.

Don’t sign people thinking that everything is okay. I’ll leave the door open. To help survivors make choices, it is important to understand how brain damage affects their lives and parenting and how parenting can affect them. This may mean that they choose to abandon parenting completely and need help surrounding it or do what they can to ensure that they have a proper support network before moving forward to building a family.

When it comes, awareness is everything decision making.

It would make a huge difference that experts from various birth and parenting sectors are aware of the challenges that may arise on a parenting journey and how to support them. Parenting after brain injury is not always simple, but with proper awareness and support, it is positive.