Breakup Game | Psychology Today

My mother always told me: “Honey, the only way to get over someone is to stand under them.” –Marcia Mason as Shelley Dempsey frasier1997.

The dissolution of a romantic relationship or other significant interpersonal relationship stressfulusually done to both parties: the person performing the breakup (herein: the dumper) and the person receiving it (hereinafter: the dumpee). The aftermath is full of emotions, most of them negative. Thankfully, the feelings fade over time, so finding a new relationship can help speed your recovery.

From an economic and behavioral point of view, parting is clean if all trade ceases. In some cases, this outcome may not be possible, such as when parents need to continue cooperating to care for their children. So let’s consider the simpler case of a romantic breakup at a young age, especially one where one party does not consent to the other’s breakup. In these cases, we see interpersonal dynamics driven more by strategy than by love.

Reluctant dumpers may resort to coercive tactics to get the dumper back. of wisdom Even if successful, such coercion is questionable, since the dumper cannot be sure whether the dumper has returned to an attitude of affection, when it is at least as likely that the dumper has simply acquiesced under duress. .

The choice of action for both sides comes down to two broad strategies. One is a flexible strategy. cooperation c) and another conflict (i.e. defection d). Therefore, the space of possible outcomes can be represented as a 2-by-2 matrix, with higher numbers indicating more favorable outcomes for the parties. In this diagram, dumpee is cast as a row player and dumper is cast as a column player. In each cell of the matrix, the former (latter) priority is indicated by the number to the left (right) of the comma.

Breakup Game Preference Matrix

Source: J. Krueger

Now you can imagine the act of defection, where the dump truck moves first in the dump. Dumpy then finds himself trapped in the right half of the Matrix. Their best response is to cooperate and accept the bad news. The top right cell of the matrix shows this result, which is a Nash equilibrium. Neither party can make things better by switching strategies. Perhaps this is how most breakups in the (formerly) romantic world end.

But dumpees who have read, and perhaps misunderstood, the words of Brams, Ellsberg, and Schelling may resort to crazy behavior and refuse to part. A bold and fortunately unusual ploy is for the dumpee to blackmail. self-harm We hope that this will encourage dump companies to reconsider. In the matrix, this movement is represented as a step down from the top right cell (2,4) to the bottom right cell (1,2). A dump that attempts this might think that the dump will cooperate and move the result to the bottom left cell (4,1). The dumper’s acceptance of the cost of moving from priority = 2 to priority = 1 can only be predicted if the dumper also expects the dumpee to cooperate. The result is the equal and efficient result shown in the figure. Top left cell (3,3).

In other words, if dumpees were thinking as clearly and strategically as this model assumes, they would need to have a higher order rationale. theory of mindthey would need to feel justified in thinking that the dumpers were more than partially motivated. altruismNot only that, but the dumpers also have expectations about the dumpee’s ultimate reaction, that is, cooperation. Considering Dumpee’s initial act of defection, this is clearly a lofty prediction.

This modeling exercise may seem futile, since sophisticated positive reasoning is unlikely to be found in a person whose social world has just entered the stage of mortal danger. Even if Dumpee’s calculations were accurate and initially fruitful, one might wonder how stable and happy these restored relationships would be.

We can console ourselves with the idea that rabid dog-like strategic behavior belongs to the human world. politicsfinance, and shady business dealings. Romance should be pure, even at the stage of breakup. And again, you can lose your social and social objects. sexual Desire can elicit choices, plans, and signals that mimic what a cold-blooded calculator might do. game theory There is no room for autonomous things to enter. nervous systemHowever, it is possible to model the catastrophe this system could cause to humans. happiness.