Breaking the vicious cycle of compensatory super achievement

For decades after fully participating in the workforce, women have navigated through a maze of expectations that can undermine their achievements and aspirations. For many women who are gaining high, travel leadership The role has challenges that arise from the complex interactions of sex,leadership Identityand a social perception of success. When stepping into a new leadership role, many women must stand up to the unspoken rules that govern them Workplace dynamicsI’m hoping for Assertive They are not labeled as offensive or labeled to serve others’ needs or visions without expecting reciprocity. It is essential to understand these hidden expectations, like decoder rings to decipher the nuances of organizational culture. Unfortunately, many women enter their careers without being offered decoder rings, leading to failure and frustration.

The adaptation is a double-edged sword

As women rise in their careers, they often face two choices when faced with challenges. They can try to meet the expectations of others or resist following these norms. Many women, socialized to the needs of others, succeed in their previous approaches, mimicking the expectations of their colleagues and superiors. This integrity can lead to positive awareness and promotional opportunities. However, this success often comes with warnings. That very rule that success can change dramatically as women begin to succeed has brought her.

Women are suddenly criticized for not being fully assertive, taking risks, or expressing their opinions because of their long-standing conditioning being supportive, quiet and kind. The expectations surrounding leadership have changed, and many women are working on how to navigate their identities and new landscapes. This lack of support during the transition can create a harsh reality that the decisions women face from their peers and superiors are often more severe than those faced by male counterparts.

Some women follow all the general recommendations they receive to improve their leadership skills as they try to speak out more frequently, express their opinions more frequently, and adapt by making decisions more quickly.

This adaptation attempt creates a complex paradox. To succeed, despite the genderlessness of leadership capabilities, one must demonstrate qualities based on traits traditionally established as “male.” When women try to demonstrate these traits, they experience criticism. This dilemma can be debilitating.

It reflects broader cultural beliefs about what constitutes “acceptable leaders.” In many organizations, especially within the United States, leadership archetypes are heavily distorted by individualism and traditionally labelled masculine traits such as emotional stoicism, assertive communication, and quick. decision making. This narrow view has little room for those who represent a collaborative, reflective, and measured communication style. These latter traits are essential to current leaders regardless of gender, but still socialized in women and are less valuable. As a result, women need to work significantly harder to prove their abilities and reach a compensatory excess.

Successful Price

Cognitive Dissonance And compensatory superachievement not only hinders progression, but also can cause burnout feelings. Fraud syndromeand decision anxiety. Instead of being rewarded by them Resilience And women who become more adaptable often tackle a reinforced cycle of negative feedback.

The story becomes a cycle as its strengths are now seen as assets. Such perceptions can lead to harmful statements such as “You are not ready for the next level” or “You are short on it.” ConfidenceIronically, these judgments lead to more compensatory behavior when women try to overcome these new barriers. It’s frustrating, and this is most leadership development programs and Coaching Interventions fail women: They focus on the lack of confidence, decisions and fraudulentity, instead of the cognitive dissonance experienced and the root causes of those experiences.

The added layer of complexity comes from the fear that women who become more expensive often stay. They are fear They lose value in the organization, become obsolete, or missed opportunities. These fears come from the negative messages they receive about their value and drive them to take on more responsibility even if such efforts reduce revenue Career Advanced.

Ironically, this can lead to further burnout and exacerbate the vicious cycle of struggle and self-doubt. Women often endure both subtle and obvious messages that question their achievements. There is a general narrative that suggests that they received skepticism about their success and that they could not achieve their position without external help. This scrutiny persists even at apparently high levels of achievement, making many women feel that their efforts are underestimated and misunderstood.

Escape or break the cycle

During this critical time, women usually face three tough choices:

To break this vicious cycle, organizations and individuals must challenge a general narrative of leadership. There are three ways to get started.

1. Broaden the definition of what a leader looks like. Recognizing and evaluating diverse leadership styles is not merely beneficial, it is necessary. It allows women and others to thrive without compromising their identity. Training initiatives can educate organizations on the implicit biases that shape leadership perceptions.
2. Create a support system to decipher career navigation within your organization. Mentorship opportunities can provide invaluable guidance, but organizational leaders can assess whether problematic messages have been mistakenly sent to women through training, leadership, coaching programs, and managers. The problematic message should be replaced with structured strength building opportunities supported by mentors, managers and sponsors across the organization.
3. Include identity development in your leadership and coaching programs. Women should be offered the opportunity to learn about unique leadership skills and identities that enhance the organization’s value and unleash compensatory hyper-achievement habits that can lead to burnout and frustration. By recognizing their strengths and reconstructing self-doubt, women can redefine success on their own terms and have space for growth Reliability. (This third recommendation only occurs when the other two are firmly placed.)

Women’s ability to adapt to the ever-changing rules of success must first be evaluated as important strength. But ultimately, top leaders of organizations who want to keep the most resilient and high-level women need to create an environment worthy of their journey.

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Note: The content of the post was adopted from (1) a lecture on “Redefining Leadership for 2025” held at the Trianger 2025 Leadership Conference. (2) My future books To the extent that it’s not enough (3) Global training co-designed with Michael Grube of AIIR Consulting for one of our clients including topics on weakness false exhaust.