Are you too worried about your child?

You’ve noticed that you’re waking up at night thinking that your child is behind, feel left, not resilient enough, not confident enough, or you can Not enough– You are not alone.

Parental concern is one of the most universal experiences of raising children, especially now. from Social Media and Screen time In puberty The pressure to arrive earlier and appear younger, stakes feel It’s higher. And when you’re there Child-raising Children ages 6-12 – stretch in between Childhoodis almost overlooked. It’s easy to feel like something is missing.

But this is the truth I want all parents to hear:

Worry is not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. That’s a sign you care about.

in Important YearI write about the emotional undercurrents of middle-childhood –Confidencemental health, and Emotional regulation At this stage, gently lower the roots. So it’s also a stage Ours Parents are most important, so they are emotional.

Parental pressure today is the highest ever. We don’t just raise children.competitionfears of safety, and the constant ham social media of “Are we doing enough?” can cause a crisis of confidence. School demands and extracurricular expectations begin early and feel more intense than ever before. We know that our children need rest, but we often feel trapped at the pace around us. Results: Running Parent Generation fear and anxietyI fear that slowing down means I will be delayed.

But parenting isn’t performance, it’s a relationship. As you move from pressure to presence, you create the conditions your kids need most. It’s connection, containment, psychological safety, and emotional safety. Many parents spend their days worrying. If that’s you and you want some ideas that work to end the loop in your mind, then you need to put your thoughts into action.

When worries creep up:

1. Name it to tame it.
It helps you pause and identify: What are you worried about? Is it a shortage of friends for your child? Their confidence? Their results? Our brains generally love to swirl with worry, but naming fear can help reduce it and deal with it more constructively.

2. Regulate yourself first.
Children co-regulate from us. If you are worried, hurry up and react, they should feel it. You could breathe for a few minutes, take a walk, journal, or even say loudly, “I feel overwhelmed right now, but I’m working on it.” Teach your child that having big emotions is okay and shows how to handle them.

3. Focus on connections rather than perfect.
Are you worried about your child’s social skills? Start with a confusing 10 minutes of connections every day. Are you worried that they may not be confident enough? Focus on and reflect on your efforts, not just your results. Emotional Resilience Growth through relationships, not performance.

4. Model the message you want them to believe.
If you want to feel safe, capable and loved for your children, not just what they have achieved, but who they are, then you live it. That might mean opting out of social comparisons and slowing down when others speed up, indicating that mistakes are part of the process.

The next time you catch yourself in a spiral what-if:
Your concern is a whisper of love. But your calm presence is what you and your child need to deal with the fears and doubts of life.

Your child is looking for you to assure them that much of what they are going through is normal and that they need to learn to ride the waves, and that you are there to guide them and teach them resilient ways. And in case you need a reminder, your job is to manage your worries and fears. Take a breath, call a friend, take a walk, write a journal, tell yourself you can take care of your child from a place of love rather than fear.