Anger-based leadership: Unconscious patterns replace skill.

Having been in this industry for over 20 years, very few things surprise me. But when this CEO welcomed his team of 12 people to a two-day offsite meeting, it felt like time stood still. Did I hear exactly what he said? Did he say, “I need more” rage-based on leadership”?

Time slowed down as I repeated his words. Shock turned to curiosity and soon creativity. Yes, that’s what he said. How do we restore this preface to align with agreed priorities? After an unexpected start, I regained my footing by adding context and qualification to his comments.

As a first-time CEO, he had a rough and tumble, growing up in a tough business environment with low profits. He had the “smartness” to draw up business strategies and now desperately wanted to prove his worth by delivering results. I had surgery on almost my whole body. career In this industry, he saw the impact that “anger-based leadership” had on the bottom line. He respected a leader who was known for accidentally sending a scathing email to the entire company.

He learned to associate success with: positivityEven if it comes at the expense of courtesy. He valued results more than methods. Was he grappling with an inner conflict, an inner tension between personal values ​​and learned behavior? Or did the system create what he would forever know as a way to lead?

we are wired to survive

It is difficult for anyone to be emotionally engaged, connected, and fully present when witnessing and feeling the costs of anger. In order to survive, they separate, separate and disconnect their heads and hearts.

This creates an independent way of operating based on logic, financial metrics, and calm. decision making. This is a way of operating that often lacks a holistic, integrated approach that balances intelligence and brain power. emotions. It creates a system of disconnection that I have come to call “cortisol-based leadership.” stress Responsiveness focused solely on results.

we repeat what we know

As history repeats itself, we are creatures of habit. We learn from those around us. Having seen how anger can energize, fuel, and create urgency, it’s understandable that this CEO took tough action to increase his influence. We become accustomed to the environment in which we operate. The conditioning would have resulted in a pattern of emotional detachment, separation, and disconnection. He had never seen a more caring, committed, and influential leader…. And he defaulted.

Overlooked costs and consequences

We often overlook the costs and consequences of anger-based leadership: stress, cortisol, and adrenaline flooding people’s systems. If individuals truly understood (on an emotional level) the direct and indirect effects of anger, as well as the short-term and long-term costs, perpetuating it would become unthinkable.

Yes, there may be short-term results and financial gains. But at what cost? The emotional, physical and psychological toll on people is enormous and unsustainable. Treating people this way causes lasting harm, both individually and collectively.

This CEO has pattern recognition To identify what caring and engaged engagement looks like. He probably never saw firsthand the results of a company driven by such principles.

pressure pattern

As I researched this experience of “anger-based leadership,” a deep curiosity arose within me. as optimistI tend to believe that people want to do the right thing. But in this case, the CEO (who was under intense pressure from his board and Wall Street) lacked pattern recognition and belief that he could drive results without resorting to anger-based tactics. I think he really wanted to ask. “How can we engage, inspire, inspire, energize, and move forward quickly?”

Be aware of what’s around you. The environments and behaviors we normalize shape how we think and behave. Be aware of what you are conditioning yourself to and what you are unconsciously accustomed to believing. Connect with your values, beliefs, and emotions. intuition.

Most of us know the difference between right and wrong. But too often, we end up pulling away or moving away to avoid tension. cognitive dissonance. This avoidance has costs for ourselves, others, and the culture we create.

Metrics matter

The more economically driven a person is—the more aligned they are with Wall Street metrics and private equity personas—the more likely they are to default on whatever it takes to achieve results.

Many talented people move up the ranks because they want to do meaningful work, but they often lack the skills to motivate, communicate, engage, and inspire those around them. This gap prevents them from energizing their teams with ownership and purpose.

build a bridge

Become the best version of yourself by first integrating within yourself. Building a bridge between the head, heart, and body creates a more coordinated, integrated systemic response. Above all, do no harm.

Additionally, challenges of disconnection, such as geographic dispersion, lack of personal relationships, and lack of “name-to-face” connections, exacerbate the problem. Leaders need altitude to truly see what’s going on and readjust their approach.

Aligning outcomes and incentives

We need to move beyond urgency and the continued pursuit of short-term results to focus on sustainable and aligned outcomes that benefit both people and businesses. Performance is often focused on inconsiderate rewards. We are serious about driving results, but we often reward individuals who achieve results without turning a blind eye to how they go about achieving those results. This disconnect perpetuates a culture of “profits over people.”

chicken or egg

In a disconnected, disembodied state, primitive instincts take over. people rationalize Their actions often say, “I have to do this for my family.” Logic trumps empathy. But what if we could change the paradigm? What would happen if servant leadership was activated? collaborationand have aligned teams that act with urgency but purpose-driven become the norm?

The new CEO was eager to get his team energized, mobilized, inspired, and proactively moving toward new market imperatives. Having grown up in a business culture dominated by anger-based leadership, he found it inspiring and effective in his own experience. Without exposure to alternative models, we lacked a vision of what compassionate, collaborative and sustainable leadership could achieve.

As we change our leadership style and adopt a more grounded approach, we see that change within our organizations as well. We are seeing the following environments emerge. productivity Natural flow, contrasting stress and pressure with alignment, clarity, and purpose creates space for new innovations.

Those of us who believe in humanity, goodwill, and the idea that people want to do the right thing recognize that we all stumble sometimes. Recovery is about returning to our core. Let’s start with ourselves. And if you have a little more patience, empathy, and understanding, offer that to those around you. Leadership that embodies trust and credibility authenticity It creates ripples within the team.