Age differences in love: Which do men and women prefer?

Many people date partners who are about the same age, but some have quite a large age difference. However, there has been little systematic psychological research investigating how much age difference people prefer. romantic relationship.

To fill this gap, a recent study published in the journal personal relationship We investigated the preferred age difference between men and women when starting a new romantic relationship (Gottfried and colleagues, 2024). A research team led by Jaroslav Gottfried analyzed data from 35,99 couples from 28 European countries and Israel.

What age difference do men prefer in relationships?

A statistical analysis conducted by scientists revealed that the preferred age difference when starting a new relationship depends on the following conditions: sex and the current age of the partner. At age 25, the average man typically partners with a woman three years younger, or about 22 years old. In contrast, the average 25-year-old woman typically partners with a partner who is three years older, or approximately 28 years old.

Statistical models reveal that as men get older, they prefer a larger age difference between them and their partners when starting a new romantic relationship. Specifically, for every five years, the preferred age difference at the start of a new relationship between a man and his partner widened by about one year. This means that the average age men prefer in their partners when starting a new relationship is approximately:

• My age is 25 years old: My partner’s age is 22 years old (age difference of 3 years)
• My age is 30 years old: My partner’s age is 26 years old (age difference of 4 years)
• My age is 40 years old: My partner’s age is 34 years old (age difference: 6 years)
• My age is 50 years old: My partner’s age is 42 years old (age difference of 8 years)
• My age is 60 years old: My partner’s age is 50 years old (age difference of 10 years)
• My age is 70 years old: My partner’s age is 58 years old (12 year age difference)
• My age is 80 years old: My partner’s age is 66 years old (age difference of 14 years)

What age difference do women prefer in relationships?

For women, a similar but less strong effect was observed after age 25. On average, the desired age difference between a woman and her partner at the start of a new relationship widened by about an additional year for every 10 years. This means that the average age women want their partners to be when starting a new relationship is approximately:

• My age: 25 years: Partner’s age: 28 years (age difference: -3 years)
• My age: 30 years: Partner’s age: 32.5 years (age difference: -2.5 years)
• My age: 40 years: Partner’s age: 41.5 years (age difference: -1.5 years)
• My age is 50 years old: My partner’s age is 50.5 years old (age difference: -0.5 years)
• My age is 60 years old: My partner’s age is 59.5 years old (age difference 0.5 years)
• My age is 70 years old: My partner’s age is 68.5 years old (age difference: 1.5 years)
• My age is 80 years old: My partner’s age is 77.5 years old (age difference: 2.5 years)

Women initially prefer partners who are a little older, but as they get older they start to prefer partners of the same age. After about 60 years of age, people tend to prefer partners who are at least a little younger.

conclusion

The older we get, the more we prefer younger partners when starting a new relationship. Although this is true for both men and women, the statistical differences between men and women are significant, and the effect has been shown to be stronger for men than for women.