Are you unconsciously causing damage to your romantic relationship?

We all engage in certain behaviors that reinforce our loving connections and naturally strive to avoid obvious connections that undermine them. However, you may be surprised to discover that seemingly harmless habits can wreaking havoc in our relationships and romantic partners.

Does any of the following situations resonate with you?

You have finished a long and tough day in an office dealing with difficult clients and unreasonable bosses. It took almost all the energy to prevent you from losing your cool and exploding. But the moment you walked the door, you hang out all of it in front of your spouse. We will thoroughly explain what happened in the office and introduce non-stop.

Or you are someone who can’t help you see all the wrong things in the world. Your cynical outlook not only prevents you from not realizing the good, but also leads you to look for the bad to support your pessimistic worldview: you look at the polarization program, wash away to scrutinize tabloids, and scroll obsessively through your news feed every day. And you will report to your partner regularly all Negative news you consumed.

Unlike the first two scenarios, you probably aren’t positively negative and not indirectly through passive behavior towards your partner. For example, your spouse will step into the room and be excitedly sharing her good news with you. You automatically respond with a flat, “It’s nice, honey,” while not taking your eyes off. You are actively involved and don’t give her full Note What she deserves.

If any of these anecdotes resonate with you, you are not alone. In fact, the romance and research workshops we have offered around the world have found these to be general experiences that are true to thousands of couples everywhere.

Aeration, pessimism, and passivity are three common habits that can ruin your relationship.

When you feel, you may think you are simply removing things from your breasts, but you may be doing much more than that – as we wrote here and here– Emotions are contagious. Vent It’s not a neutral activity. Spreading negativity can lead to toxic environments. It can put an emotional blow to your partner and strain your relationship.

Furthermore, your pessimistic beliefs about the world can also make you feel less satisfied with your relationship with your partner.

In fact, it’s featured in the latest issue in a recent daily study of the latest romantic couple. Journal of Positive Psychology, Participants reported that they felt more satisfied with their relationship on the day they and their partners had more positive beliefs than negative beliefs about the world. These findings show how our fluctuating moods and worldviews can color our relationships rather than neutral.

Finally, various studies have shown that passive and trading with partners, whether intentionally or not, can weaken bonds.

Don’t dismiss negativity and disregard your relationship. Instead of becoming a vent, Pessimismand practice the following three positive habits that will help you strengthen your loving connections.

1. Express your emotions calmly. Remember that all emotions are valid. Channel emotions like frustration find ways to find ways to do things differently. Please refrain from “putting everything out.”

Please remember that all Emotions are contagious. Think about the consequences of releasing your emotions every The time you experience them. Rather, choose according to your feelings. When expressing negativity, do so in a gentle and direct way in the right context.

2. Hunt good things. Certainly there are things to worry about in the world, but simply simmering them is not healthy. And simply addressing the problem clouds our view that we see the good that exists at the same time.

Instead, don’t forget to realize and taste the good. Practice “Three Good Things” exercises. Every night, I write down three good things that happened that day. A powerful intervention that helps to positively change our attention, this exercise is associated with lasting happiness effects. In time, you may also find a more positive view of yourself, your relationships, and the world.

3. Go towards your partner. famous marriage Researchers John and Julie Gottman emphasize the importance of heading towards your partner to build stronger connections. One way to do so is to actively celebrate your partner’s good news when they share with you, rather than being passively recognized. What psychologist Shelley Gable calls it an “active constructive response.” She discovered how people react to the good news of their partners can have a positive or negative impact on their relationship.

The best kind of responses interact with positive. In contrast, passive responses like “it’s good, honey” can damage the relationship as much as responses that dissipate their good news directly.

In short, beware of the harmful habits of vent, pessimism, and passivity that you may be involved in regularly within you Romantic Relationship.

Replace them with something healthier Mindful, Optimisticand interactions. By practicing these positive behaviors with your partner, you may develop more satisfying and sustainable connections over time.