Why failure is a new success

I remember it like yesterday. Freshman year basketball tryouts were surprisingly good. I completed all the passes, sunk a significant percentage of free throws, and opened up the spot as a solid place as a dissatisfied bench player. I wasn’t a star, but I made a team. Then it happened.

Runaway layup. A simple shot. And I missed it. Devastating. I can’t explain it.

I was cut the next day.

“I fail fast and I fail frequently.”

The startup world is full of mantras like this. In the technological and entrepreneurial circles, failure has become a chase rather than avoiding it. And science is beginning to back up this. 2019 Nature Study by Wang et al. Among scientists and entrepreneurs, it turns out that people who ultimately succeeded actually failed more frequently than so many of their peers. What set them apart was not luck or genius, but the ability to learn and adapt quickly after each disorder.

Take it home? Go ahead and fall flat on your face. Don’t forget to get back on your feet.

But the story becomes more complicated. We have long assumed it would lead to success. happinessresearch suggests that emotional lifts from success are often short-lived. Two main voices of positive psychology, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Ed Diener, show that people quickly adapt to new levels of achievement. The joy fades away. And, interestingly, those who have experienced failure may report a higher level of long-term happiness than those who have not. Their findings suggest that durable happiness is less due to external victory like trophies and titles, and internal sources such as objectives, meaningful relationships, and personal growth.

After all, happiness does not succeed and ride a shotgun. Instead, it moves in deeper things: a kind of purpose that promotes connection and internal development. But how do we separate this idea from our everyday goals and ambitions? How can you pursue your purpose without being consumed by the stab wounds of failure or being seduced by the thrill of success?

My suggestion: You need to restructure your purpose. Let’s talk Little p the purpose.

Most of the purposes are about processes, not outcomes. It depends on your goals. It’s the joy of doing something meaningful, whether it ends with a trophy or a rejection email. Let’s say you dream of becoming a bestseller memoir. That’s great. But even if the book isn’t on the New York Times list, the pure act of writing it, shaping your story, can still be deeply and fulfilling. When we focus on the process of our products, we release ourselves from the tyranny of winning and losing thinking.

That shift can change our lives in three powerful ways:

1. courage. Research in 2019 Frontiers of psychology We found that courage can greatly increase your satisfaction in life. Optimism or Resilience. Courage did not guarantee success, but it led to greater satisfaction. When you separate success from a particular outcome and attach it to it instead Activities Try it and we give ourselves an agency. You can’t control whether you win a race, but you always control whether you show up to run.

2. Resilience. People who enjoy the process, people who are driven by small purposes, I’m burning out few. Burnout often comes from chasing a big purpose. It’s a noble and strict goal that may seem impressive, but it may feel empty. Even “success” can feel like a failure if you are pursuing something you don’t actually enjoy. You may be short on skills, resources, or energy, and the cost of push-throughs can be too high. On the other hand, the process-oriented people say that they are motivation It’s essential. They are encouraged not only by what they want to achieve, but by what they like.

3. Flexibility. Clinging to a rigid, outcome-based goal reduces us adaptability. My basketball setback may have been reconfigured. Instead of quitting my team altogether, I could have applied to become an equipment manager. I would have stayed close to the sport I loved, gained camaraderie and found meaning without the need to be on top athlete. If success is slightly undefined, failure will not close the door. Open a new one.

So, what does this mean for the way we nurture and teach the next generation?

We should help young people move away from success fail binaries. Redefine success to simply have the courage to give it a try. The real victory is not guaranteed, but rather stepping into the arena with a willingness to take a shot.

In this way, failure truly becomes a new success. I’m not saying I’ll hand out trophies to everyone who runs a triathlon. But we should honor those who have appeared on the starting line. Because only those who try to race will one day win the podium. And, regardless of time, someone who crosses the finish line with a real smile might be a truly successful person.

In this worldview, meritocracy does not disappear. Excellence remains important. But broaden the definition of success in ways that include courage, process and growth.

And maybe, just maybe, we build a world that celebrates not only the best, but all brave enough to get started.