Autistic women and the trauma of betrayal

Before reading this post, I would like to remind you that my perspective is mine only. And when explaining my experience as a slow diagnosis autism Women, I know I am not representing the autism community. My condition affects and debilitates me in many ways, but it is unique to me. Many people with autism don’t experience the symptoms I’m trying to explain. trauma After Betrayal; however, I also know that many others understand what I mean when writing about pain associated with this type of event. In my experience, this affects women with autism more than men with autism.

The pain of betrayal is one of the ways that autism makes my life much more difficult. It is the intense internal experience and psychological shock associated with discovering someone or something I completely trust (betrayal may be perceived). Betrayal can come from partners, friends, family, professionals, services, systems, and even government. Betrayal is the complete breakdown of trust between a person and an object or person who has activated the response of betrayal.

My brain has come to realize that it is very difficult and almost impossible for me to recover or move on. Often against logic or reason, when someone or something I trusted completely betrayed me, my brain and my brain Nervous system They store that information and are sensitive to being retaliated by it. Whether I have a deep innate desire to forget what happened, or my body, brain, and nervous system cannot progress, I felt it was almost impossible to process and accept events.

For me, this was definitely one of the worst aspects of being on the spectrum, affecting my life and my closest relationship, and sometimes irreparable. When someone betrays me, especially the person I love, I feel more painful and painful than if someone physically attacks me. Many people may argue that this is natural. However, the degree and intensity of anti-cation and neurological pain appear to differ significantly in some parts of the spectrum.

I don’t want anyone to betray me. That’s not what we want in our lives. Physician Gabor Mate describes trauma as internally occurring but caused by external events (Mate, 2022). Discovering betrayal and dishonesty has a profound impact on us for a few simple reasons. We often have less to get more naive, literal, unfair and deceptive social and communication cues.

Betrayal is an attack on trust. For me, it’s integrity, integrity and related moraland these values ​​are often more important to people in the spectrum than others. This certainly matters to me.

Many autistic people do not see social and nonverbal cues. We rely more on direct and transparent communication to understand people and develop meaningful connections. When someone says something to me, I really take it at face value and accept the information as is. As a result, many autistic individuals are more vulnerable to being abused and used, and are more susceptible to traumatization by those we trust (Gates, 2019).

For others who are not on the spectrum, if they know that someone is injustice, it may upset and hurt them, and while they may be disappointed and angry, they may be unharmed by the discovery. But there is a difference. I may experience these events and realizations with the same level of pain (psychological, neurological, emotional), with impactful events and similar reactions to unexpected deaths. The shock of the situation Cognitive Dissonance And the subsequent psychological distress may seem disproportionate and extreme to others. Deception That happened. But for many autistic individuals, this pain is why we become more hidden and socially isolated as we age. It is easier to avoid people and relationships than to risk recovering from betrayal or related pain (Stewart and Colleagues, 2024).

Many individuals like me on the spectrum want to know as a way to know and understand things anxiety So that we can feel safe in the world. The pain we experience is one of the reasons why these conditions are brutal and difficult to manage. It’s certainly the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life, and it makes it much more difficult for me to trust people. The older I get, the more time I experience, the more I want solitude and feel safer to avoid people and relationships.