Why it doesn’t have to be everything

As humans, we often become prey All or nothing thinking. The American Psychological Association defines this as follows: Dichotomous thinking– Trends to interpret experiences from the opposite perspective: good or bad, happy or sadness, success or failure. At first glance, this kind of thinking may seem harmless. However, studies suggest that the results are not benign.

In fact, polarized thinking is closely linked to mental health challenges. Mosaiwi et al. 2018 paper, title In absolute state: the rise in absolute word use is an inherent marker of anxiety, depressionand suicide Ideasanalysed online forums and discovered impressive patterns. Researchers found that the discussions on anxiety and depression included a significantly higher proportion of absolute language. everytime, there is nothing, Completely, Compared to the general forum. More concerning, this use of black and white language was most prominent in forums focusing on suicidal ideation.

The dangers of dichotomous thinking have expanded beyond mental health. Palascha and colleagues explored this phenomenon in the realm of diet And weight management. in Journal of Health Psychologythey reported that of the 241 adults surveyed, those with strict, black and white beliefs about food are more likely to experience patterns familiar to many. Their findings suggest that such strict beliefs can indeed interfere with our efforts towards a healthy diet.

Simply put, thinking at the extremes is not helpful for us.

Still, when it comes to finding a purpose, it repeatedly applies this flawed idea. Our society tends to be narrow and promote all the winner’s views on what it means to live a meaningful life. The purpose is equated with grand achievements and lofty titles. We tell ourselves: Become a billionaire or you’re short on. Graduate School of Medicine or you failed. Landing work on one of them Big Five Settle into a lower position at an accounting firm or a lower company.

The problem is that these strict definitions of success have disappointed many of us. In many cases, we lack the skills, knowledge, resources, or privileges to achieve these identifications the goal. The result is often anxiety and depression. Finding a purpose: we are failing at the most important challenges of our lives. We surround ourselves with games that don’t win, and of course many of us will ask: Why even try it?

This solution is not to choose a bigger, flashier or bolder goal. I don’t give up completely either. The real key is much simpler and much more powerful. We need to move beyond dichotomous thinking.

The purpose does not have to be an all-or-nothing proposal. It can be incremented.

If you’re dreaming of becoming a billionaire, why not focus on making your first thousand dollars first? If being a doctor calls you, then perhaps your first step is to take a biology or anatomy course and see how it feels. dream Big Five Accounting Career? Start by preparing and passing the CPA exam.

The goal is to unfold in small steps. It’s not about jumping straight to some spectacular destinations. Instead, it is to be deeply involved in meaningful activities, one at a time. In fact, the end goal is not the most important part. Those moments of progressive progress towards travel, something important to you, are where your purpose continues to live.

The purpose is fog, and the future is not far away. It’s at this moment. There’s no need to wait for your purpose. You can start making it today.

If you’re not sure how to get away from dichotomous thoughts around your goals, here are some practical strategies to get you started.

Separate the forest from the trees

You may dream of quitting your engineering job to become a doctor. Perhaps realistically, that’s not included in the card. But that doesn’t mean you can’t engage in activities that can help others. Volunteer at the hospital. Use your engineering skills to help develop medical devices. The possibilities are broader than the original vision.

Focus on what you do

If you want to be an author, please write it. Don’t worry about becoming a New York Times bestseller. We are shaped by far more actions than the title. Desire can inspire us, but it is us do It defines us.

Don’t forget that every marathon starts with the first step

We often underestimate the power of small beginnings. All doctors took their first biology class. All authors wrote the first paragraph. All entrepreneurs made their first sale. The first step creates momentum, and the momentum drives you forward.

Ultimately, dichotomous thinking can hurt our mental health and hinder our path to meaning. Especially with regard to the purpose, we have to let go of the idea that it is all or nothing. Growth occurs through fit and start through small actions that brighten us up and shape who we are.

The real obstacle is not that it is large purpose, rare, and difficult to find. The obstacle is the way we think about it. The purpose is not to the far summits we reach or do not reach. It’s abundant. It’s alive. And it manifests itself in the small, progressive results of everyday life.

The purpose is not something we discover at the end of our journey. That’s what we pursue in the middle. Often, with a pass that is still unfolding.