Abuse doesn’t always stop when the relationship ends

When Miriam finally left her six-year partner, she thought the worst was over. However, within a few weeks, new types will be fear I’ve started taking shape.

Her ex began to appear near her work, sitting in his car and parked across the street. He never approached her directly – making sure she saw him. He constantly began texting, switching between apologies and threats. When she blocked his number, he emailed her from a new account. He then began to reach out to her friends and family, sharing twisted versions of the event, accusing her of abuse! One day, her boss called her to the office. Her ex-mailed the HR department, accusing Sara of fraud.

stress Relentless. Miriam couldn’t sleep. She jumped every time the phone rang out. Police told her they couldn’t do much unless he physically hurt her. “If he’s near you, call us,” they will say before returning to their desk. Her friend, who didn’t know what to say, was quiet, some of her uncomfortable, and when she was pushed, she said, “I don’t want to be on my side.” “Are you not exaggerating?” I asked.

Miriam had left the relationship, but it wasn’t abuse.

Abuse after separation is common after survivors leave

For many survivors of Intimate partner violencedisbanding will not stop abuse. Like Myriam, many people realize that abuse is merely switching to a new format that can be as bad as what they have experienced during a relationship, or even worse.

Research shows that the most dangerous period for survivors is often weeks to months after leaving.¹ This is because abusers often escalate their tactics rear Survivors leave due to loss of control and often feeling desire revenge. The idea that someone can leave them can recognize their ego and control.

To try to maintain control, abusive people often rely on abusive tactics that differ from those used during their relationship. These include Stalkerharassment, using children as weapons, filing false police reports or lawsuits, withholding finances, smear campaigns. They may logically understand that physical violence can cause them to get them into legal trouble, but many have found that non-physical methods can achieve the same level of fear and control without the same legal risk.²

The legal system is struggling to recognize this form of abuse to protect victims

Despite widespread understanding of domestic abuse, many legal systems still struggle to recognize and respond to post-segregation abuse. As in Myriam, many police and courts ignore or minimize forms of abuse, such as harassment, especially in the absence of physical violence.

Research shows that abusers are taking advantage of loopholes in the law that keeps victims out of protection and prevents them from continuing abuse.^1,2 While the perpetrator is often given the benefit of doubt, the burden of proof lies with the victim. These must prove beyond the shadow of doubt that these incidents have happened.

For these perpetrators, the idea is not to stop the abuse However, mentality is strengthened through legal systems where abusers often cannot be held accountable in order to stop being caught.

Long-term, systemic changes are required to address the root cause of IPV (intimate partner violence). Efforts to keep abusers accountable is one of the necessary changes. It will decrease Stigma Something related to domestic abuse is something else. Until then, many survivors still struggle to seek help.

Create an environment where survivors can access the support they need to heal trauma IPVs can help improve the safety of survivors.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 800.799.safe (7233) or visit thehotline.org. To find a therapist Visit Psychology Today Therapy Directory.