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Let’s say you’re at a dinner party. Maybe it’s one of the social obligations that a networking event, a book club, or someone inevitably asks, “So, what do you do for fun?”
You can go on a cruelly honest route: “Scroll through Zillow and imagine my life in the MCM dream home…Rewatch Before sunrise 18th time… Please read Random Fantasy The ancient evil is back, only the group of Childhood Friends can stop it – after a detour of a suspicious number. ”
Alternatively, you can use a more refined version.
“Train for a half marathon…make my espresso art perfect… I’m learning Italian because I refuse to be someone who knows only “Ciao” and “Gelato”. ”
It’s very likely that you’ll be hooked on all of the above activities, or just a mix.
But here’s it: both answers tell the story. And what you say to the people you do in your downtime shapes how they perceive you. Not only as an expert, but as a human being.
Recent research published in Journal of Consumer Research We investigated subtle and powerful effects revealing a particular type of leisure activity. Spoiler alert: How you spend the weekend has more shaking about how people judge your abilities and warmth than you think.
When engaged in eudaimonic activities (those that promote personal growth, meaning, and fulfillment, such as fitness training and learning new skills), others tend to rate you as more competent.
It’s not just a “hobby.” What comes with these activities is a deeper ability signal. If you say you are learning a language or training a marathon, you say a lot about your character. You show that you can commit to something, that you are disciplined. These activities draw pictures of the people who have it with them.
On the other hand, pleasure activities (hobbies focus on pure joy and enjoyment like rude pleasure Bear Or scroll obsessively Tiktok) It can make you look warm, friendly or fun.
However, warmth does not show ability, and ability does not show warmth.
A study conducted by Michelle Daniels and colleagues showed that people are more likely to choose and engage with people who talk about eudaimonic activities in a professional context. In fact, people were willing to help students with their professional pursuits when they shared their Eudaimonic hobbies, for example, just chilling on the couch on Netflix.
However, if you’re already established in your workplace (for example, it has a reputation for awards and closing deals), talking about low-effort hobbies, like your bold obsession with surveillance, may not hurt you much. In fact, it can even increase your likeability. You are showing that you are more than your job. You are human too.
However, without these external abilities clues, eudaimonic’s hobby becomes even more important. They serve as social evidence that you are capable and capable and help you stand out when you don’t have a trophy case doing it for you.
Now, you may be thinking: “Okay, but what about me just… myself? I don’t want my free time to be a strategic move.”
I’ll get it perfectly. But how you talk about your downtime speaks volumes even if you don’t intend it.
Think of the last time someone asks what you do for fun. I didn’t know how to answer. Have you defaulted to “I do a lot of different things” or has it been rambling about random hobbies?
This is where insights from this study are very useful. If you just talk about your super productive hobby, people may admire your discipline, but they may feel detached from you. If you just leaned down to the fact that you like scrolling through Tiktok and sorting out your fridge like Marie Kondo, you might come across warmly, but it’s not particularly impressive.
But if you find that sweet spot – where you know when to talk about your professional growth and when to share how you can relax with some guilty pleasures? Now you have a relationship of trust and demonstrate that you are not only capable, but also fun and approachable.
It all depends on your audience. If you’re talking to someone who focuses on hyper Productivity And accomplished, they intend to respect marathon training and Italian lessons more. However, in a casual environment with people who value relaxation and personal connections, you get the extra point of being genuine and human.
So here’s the bottom line (and you shouldn’t surprise you at this point): it’s all about the context.
If you want to demonstrate the abilities of your professional life, let your eudaimonic hobby shine.
But once you have established your ability, you can freely mix up more relaxed and enjoyable hobbies through career achievements and awards. When you already have the ability to burn, you can talk about your obsession White lotus No one question your work ethic. You already show that you have the ability.
Don’t forget that this approach works best People who value meaning and fulfillment. People who think their love for hiking and cooking reflects who you are. They will trust you and they will want to support you.
Therefore, accept the mix when the moment is right. It’s a way to connect and stand out in a way that feels natural and realistic.
The real takeaway here isn’t about your hobby being obsessed with what you say about you. Be careful when they say something and talk about them at the right time.
If you really love to read philosophywonderful. If you want to spend the weekend, we’ll rank fast food fries. But if you’re talking about something that sounds impressive and you’re just talking about not mentioning things that actually bring joy to you (or vice versa), you may have missed some of the best parts of human connection.
So, the next time someone asks what you’ll do for fun, don’t overthink it. But think about that a bit.