What is parental burnout? | Psychology Today

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It may be easy to criticize parents and their children child rearing effort. How many times have you seen an ill-judged onlooker make a comment under their breath at the park while a tired parent tries to strangle their toddler? It happens all the time. But let’s be fair…parenting is difficult even under the best of circumstances. And most of the time, there’s a lot more going on in a person’s life than you can see in a snapshot of them being in the park with their kids.

If you ask your parents if they’re tired, most likely they’ll laugh. They laugh because the word “tired” doesn’t accurately reflect how they feel. In fact, the words researchers use to describe this are emotions On the other hand, studies of parental burnout show that “extreme fatigue” is the first indicator that burnout is imminent.

Parental burnout occurs as a result of enduring chronic parenting. stress (Roksam et al., 2017; Mikolajczak et al., 2018). This occurs when the demands placed on parents exceed the resources needed to meet them, creating a chronic imbalance.

1 in 20 parents feel this way Right now, That’s a conservative estimate. According to a study by Ohio State University, 66% of working parents burnt out.

Symptoms of parental burnout

According to researchers, parental burnout is a condition characterized by four symptoms that do not appear at once. It is a developmental process that goes through stages. The first major symptom is an overwhelming sense of exhaustion related to the parenting role. Parents wake up in the morning feeling tired and have to spend another day with their children. Just thinking about what we do for and with our children feels like we’re being asked to climb Mount Everest. They are emotionally drained and at their breaking point.

The next symptom is emotional distancing from children. Parents feel saturated in their roles and become less and less involved in parenting and relationships with their children. Interactions are limited to functional/transactional aspects at the expense of emotional aspects (Roksam et al., 2018). Often, parents unconsciously distance themselves from pure self-preservation and survival. They are trying to conserve what little energy they have. However, research on parental burnout shows that this stage of emotional distancing can lead to child neglect and parental violence (Blanchard et al., 2020; Hansotte et al., 2021) .

Emotional distance is followed by a third symptom in which parents feel a loss of joy and effectiveness in their parenting role. Parents are tired of raising children. They can no longer tolerate their role as a mother/father and no longer enjoy being with their children. It’s no wonder, then, that what was once one of life’s most exciting, fulfilling and meaningful roles is increasingly becoming a source of growth. guilt.

The final symptom occurs when parents notice the contrast between who they were, who they wanted to be, and who they are now. This contrast can cause burnt-out parents to feel unavoidably distressed. shameand guilt (Abramson, A., 2021).

Are you a parent yourself? Take a moment to reflect on the presence of these symptoms in your life.

Consequences of untreated parental burnout symptoms

Research shows that parental burnout can be extremely damaging to the partnership between parents, children, and co-parents. may cause suicidal And running away from ideas (Mikolajczak et al., 2019) is much more frequent in parental burnout than in work burnout, and even depression (Mikolajczak et al., 2020). This finding is not surprising, given that parenting is a constant 24/7 role. Parental burnout is also associated with psychological forms of escapism, including: alcohol or substance use (Mikolajczak et al., 2018). At a biological level, parental burnout causes dysregulation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which may be causally involved in the somatic complaints and sleep disturbances reported by parents with burnout. (Sarrinandia-Pemna, 2019).

how to help yourself

For your own health, it’s important to recognize the symptoms of parental burnout as early as possible. Help is available. There are ways to deal with it yourself or seek professional help. If you’re the DIY type, try these interventions.

• Prioritize sleep. This cannot be overstated. Deal with fatigue and correct unhealthy sleep patterns beginning It’s a precautionary measure. This protects children from harm from neglect and parental violence that can occur after the exhaustion stage. Establish a consistent bedtime, avoid screens for 60 minutes before bedtime, and eliminate sugar and caffeine after 2 p.m.
• Take inventory of your parenting tasks and responsibilities. To feel less overwhelmed, focus on yourself. Note according to one week’s schedule. Create a list of tasks and connect with your “village”. Simply outsourcing some responsibilities to someone you trust can make a big difference.
• If you find yourself already talking to the village, or if you’ve tried unsuccessfully to correct you and your child’s sleep habits, consider seeking professional help. therapist before things get worse. A qualified therapist has tools to help assess the intensity of burnout symptoms and teach skills to strengthen burnout. emotional intelligence Improve your own abilities related to child rearing. resilient parent.

All the challenges of parenting can be overcome, and most of them are experienced by everyone. You understand this!