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How social anxiety contributes to a false self-image



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Cliche advice can be hit or miss, depending on the context, how it’s received, and when it’s given. When you analyze it, you can often extract multiple meanings. However, some are clearly bad. As an example, it has been repeated many times by people who have some level of trouble. social anxietyit means to stop caring about what other people think of you. it claimed that wisdom They have a way of perpetuating patterns that are harmful to socially anxious people.

socializing anxiety Disability is characterized in an exaggerated way fear of someone else’s judgment. We all experience some degree of social anxiety from time to time, and a diagnosis points to several contributing factors.

  1. cognitive dissonance Feeling anxious or confused because what others say about you does not match how you feel about yourself, and therefore what you believe others are really thinking
  2. Be obsessed with how to solve problems internally Really i feel you
  3. avoid drawing Note You never have the tools (i.e. someone else’s perspective) to challenge your inner critic because you are only to yourself and avoid people completely whenever possible.
  4. Believing that by isolating and perfecting ourselves, we are immune to internal and external criticism, we eliminate the conflict between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us.

    The last element is not always present. Some people with this diagnosis hide it forever because they believe it is impossible to improve.

Now, imagine telling a person with the disorder that they should stop caring about what other people think of them. The implicit message is: “Who cares if other people think badly about you?” And people with SAD often believe that most, if not all, of the positive feedback they receive is a lie and that decide that is the only way to overcome SAD. sorrow Somehow, around that discovery, I am motivated to cultivate clear personal standards. However, one of the problems often associated with SAD is teeth Clear personal standards. It’s not necessary. That is something that also happens quite often with this diagnosis. perfectionisma personal standard that goes far beyond the standard someone else would use to judge you.

Contrary to this advice, we often need to start caring more about others. Really Think about us instead of continuing to cling to what we believe they think. That’s often wrong. Not only do they provide us with a mirror in which to reflect ourselves, but we only come to know who we are through feedback (as much as possible), especially since we have so many blind spots. But along with that, it gives us insight into our talents. Through their excitement, joy, and validation. Their smile proves who we are more than the chatter in our minds. And at the same time, their feedback is just as biased as ours, exposing our general incompetence. completely Know yourself. Therefore, the dissonance we tend to feel is partly existential. There is no discoverable universal standard by which we can measure ourselves. All we have is each other.

Because that’s the case, we need to take other people’s evaluations more seriously. The oft-repeated advice means: ironythe belief that you don’t need others because you can’t trust them. We can’t trust them to be honest with us, and at the same time we can’t trust them to be kind. For them, it can feel like a double bind. I’m either. liar It’s cruel when I compliment you or when I agree with you. But in reality, people often have a much better perspective on us than we tend to hold about ourselves, even if we don’t agree with them. Our patients often believe that they are unattractive, stupid, and unlovable. And likewise, those things don’t seem to be true, according to those who know them. People with SAD are better off holding two different ideas together and learning to live with ambiguity, rather than doubling down on unrealistic standards and creating false solutions. That is, “Even if I don’t like myself, other people tend to like me.” Self-love may not be attainable, but a version of self-neutrality, where competing perspectives cancel each other out, may be. But first we must learn to trust that our communities are willing and able to offer both honesty and kindness.



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