Probably Power | Today’s Psychology

“It’s probably the beginning of every journey.” – Anonymous

We have often been told we need to be confident, strong and bold in our decisions. To quickly and definitively say “yes” or “no.” But what if I don’t know?

Perhaps the “protector part” within us screams, “Be decisive, don’t look weak.” However, when friends ask us for favors, or partners suggest dinners or trips to in-laws, there’s no need to decide on the spot. there is no shame There are many things to consider when sitting together and often.

The power of pause

Imagine your partner asking you to join for Thanksgiving with their family – you will soon notice a shudder as you remember how you were released last year. It’s not because they’re bad people, but that wasn’t satisfying for you. Maybe you even promised yourself that you would never do it again.

What if we didn’t apply pressure from the inside or outside to answer immediately? There may be some parts of you who want to protect you from another boring holiday. And another part that you want to please your partner or avoid conflict.

Enter the power of pause. What if I don’t need to make a decision right away? Adding “maybe” to your vocabulary gives you greater freedom.

Maybe you can respect yourself by asserting calmness? Your “maybe” can serve as a caring placeholder.

Probably an example of power

Requests from friends:Can I take me to the airport next Saturday?

Probably response: I appreciate your question and would like to help, but let’s sit there. If you have a plan, you should check with your partner.

Requests from partners: “My parents invited us for Thanksgiving. Isn’t it nice?

Probably respond:Hmm. I have mixed feelings. Part of me wants to make you happy, but another part of me wanted something different this year. Can you talk about that?

Requests at work: There is a project you would like to enter. Would you like to join our team?

Probably respond: I want to help, but I’m now having my eyeballs on another project. Can you come back to you about that? Check if you can move some things.

Empowering purchase time

It often takes time to take the time to feel right, reasonable and comfortable for you. It doesn’t help that everyone is annoyed by themselves to provide a quick “yes” and hurry and please when you may be resented later.

Things to remember before responding

• You always have the right to say no.
• Are you unkind to yourself when you try to be kind to others?
• It’s okay if there are restrictions. You can learn to set them in a kind and considerate way.
• If you feel pressured to respond quickly, does it come from them or from you?
• If you think you’re not weak, you’ll be given plenty of permission to suspend. the wisdom.
• You can learn to balance caring for yourself and reactivity to others.
• Res and distances can grow quietly from over-responsiveness.

Find the right balance

The key to a harmonious relationship and a happy life is to find a balance between caring for others and caring for yourself. As Rabbi Hillel taught, “If I’m not for myself, who is for me?” We need to be responsible for our lives and do not feel like victims.

But to ensure that we are not properly self-absorbed, Hillel quickly added: Perhaps Rabbi Hillel saw compassion as an ethical obligation. But in reality, making others happy can increase ourselves (when it doesn’t hurt us) happiness. As the Dalai Lama said, “If you want to make others happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

As meditation “If our compassion does not include ourselves, it is incomplete,” said Jack Cohnfield, a teacher and psychologist.

Compassion for our limits

Accepting “maybe” is a way to be considerate of our limits. It can give us time to stop how we go, breathe and feel kind – balance self-care with kindness.

If the situation requires a prompt response, we can do our best. But in many cases, there’s no need to hurry. By pausing, we can focus on what falls into our bodies and feel “right” so that we can remain faithful to ourselves, while respecting what we care about. Life flows more easily as we embrace quiet forces.

©John Amodeo