You are not the product of the five people you spend time with

While listening Professor G Podcast Recently, Scott Galloway has been in conversation friendshipmentioned the often-cited idea that we are the average of five people who spend the most time. This sentiment was prevalent in the ’80s and ’90s by motivational speaker Jim Lorne, and traces its roots to much older thinkers like Aristotle and Confucius. Core concept: Proximity shapes not only our characters, but our success.

But what this mix of Lone, Galloway and ancient philosophers did not explain is how modern life erodes its proximity. Weakening religious systems, geographical dispersal of jobs, and replacement of face-to-face communities. Social Media Scrolling is all contributing to something more worrying. We are more disconnected than ever.

If we have yet to spend very little meaningful time with anyone, which would you beg for the question of whether we are the average of the five people we spend most of our time?

I think it’s time to improve this idea.

Today we are not the product of the five people around us. We are the product of five or many activities that build purpose.

Our identity, which has never been, and most likely, emerges primarily from the immediate social environment. They emit from within. They form around what illuminates us. What we pursue is not because others do them, but because they are deeply important to us. This internal compass provides guidance on how friendship and community are now formed… not the other way around.

Why is this important?

The path to success, meaning and belonging is not paved by simply surrounding themselves with those who seem to understand it. That very idea promotes an overreliance on the same influencer culture as leaving so many young people I’m worriedlost and chronically compare with celebrities online.

Let’s be honest. What incentives are these already successful people to welcome you into their lives? If they are thriving, they probably already have a circle they trust. Are they really trying to mentor someone with a desire to “level up” close by?

It’s fascinating to believe that being around successful people somehow rubs us down. But in reality, that approach rarely works. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, you provide better service by turning inwards and being clear about who you are and what lights up you.

That’s where real growth begins.

So what is the alternative?

Stop worrying about a lot about networking, positioning, or finding a “5”. Start thinking about you Purpose anchor; A deep, personal driver who keeps calling you.

What stirs your spirit? What keeps you at night? What do you track the time?

Are you writing novels? Launch a podcast about the American West aiOr an adventure trip? Do you want to mentor others? Do you want to build something from scratch?

Whatever it is, you build your life around it. I’ll commit to that. And in doing so you begin to manifest as your most authentic, lively, intentional self.

From that space you will naturally find people who share your purpose, your values, and your passions, that is, others on similar journeys. They will be your five. Your collaborators, friends, mentors, students. Not because you chased them, you I made something real It brought them into your life.

How do you find the anchor you want?

Ask yourself:

• If so I’m lying Too early on my deathbed, what would I regret not having courage, energy, or time to pursue?
• What brought joy to me as a child before my achievements, careers and expectations were portrayed?
• What aspect of your current job do you dislike? And what remains when I remove those parts?
• What am I interested enough, even if it scares me a little?

There’s nothing like failure here. You either enjoy the activity or learn that it’s not yours and explore something else. Both are victory.

The conclusion is

We are not the product of the five people we spend most of our time. These five are, more precisely, the result of our intentional lives that we have chosen to pursue.

So, rather than chasing friendships or hoping that success will be rubbed against by penetration, delve into your light. Living a life that is fixed to your purpose. I’ll build it from there.

As a hospice doctor who often listens to wisdom I can promise you this:

You will never regret it.